My Addiction
by AndAllThatGoodStuff
Summary: "I'm sorry, Kendall. I'm trying to stop. I wanna stop." "...Logan, you have to know that you have to give it up completely. Because if you leave again…don't bother coming back." Kendall and Logan have been battling these addictions for years.
1. Chapter 1

No matter how long I have lived in LA, I will never get used to the traffic. It was still early, and I expected it to be better. I took an earlier flight just to avoid this, but watching the cars in front of and beside me move two miles an hour, it would appear that everyone had the same idea.

I just wanted to get home to my wife and kids and take a nap.

I let out a yawn, still groggy from sleep or lack thereof. My eyes were squinted from the rising sun blinding me. When I went to pull the visor down, I saw him. Dark brunet hair laying flat on his head, clothes old and worn. He was just sitting there with a book in his lap, only looking up when a car would honk its horn. He looked older and tired but still the same. I continued to stare wide eyed at him until I saw I was about to pass my exit. I quickly took it, shaking my head of hopeful thoughts.

There was no way that was him, and I wasn't about to get my hopes up that it was. As I continued my drive home, I couldn't help thinking so. He looked exactly how Logan would look now-albeit a bit skinnier and paler. His eyes were the same. Still big and brown, but now they were almost lifeless. I could feel my chest constricting at the thought of wha caused the dulling in the formally bright and happy eyes.

With a sigh, I climbed into bed beside my sleeping wife, careful not to wake her. When Jo turned over, opening her eyes sleepily. "You're home." She yawned.

"Yeah," I whispered. "Sorry for waking you."

"It's fine." She moved over, wrapping her arms around my middle, and snuggling into my chest. I tensed slightly before relaxing again. "How was your flight?"

"Long..." I answered shortly, mind still wondering back to Logan.

"Did you at least have fun at the conference?"

I gave a short, sarcastic laugh at this. "Because doing paper work and sittin in a small room for five hours while people you don't even like talk about things you don't care about is so much fun."

I could feel Jo sigh against me. "It's a job, Kendall."

"So, is hockey."

"Hockey isn't a guaranteed paycheck."

"Says the out of work actress." I mumbled.

Jo sat up, and I could see from her hard glare that she heard what I said and wasn't amused. "I'm not having this argument with you again." She climbed out of bed and stomped into the bathroom.

"I'm not trying to start an argument; I just think it's weird that _you_ can pursue your dream of being an actress, but my dream wasn't as important." I sat up, glaring at the open bathroom door.

"_I_ still get a royalty every time an episode of New Town High airs or when a network shows any of the Chauncey Jackson movies." Jo said from the bathroom. "_I'm_ still popular enough to guest star in other shows, and my agent even talks about getting me in another series." I rolled my eyes, having been hearing that same excuse for the last three years. "You are a washed up pop star who hasn't who hasn't had his songs played since Where Are They Now: Boy Band Edition aired." She continued. I could feel my blood boiling. I was sick of Jo throwing her career in my face. "Even if I had let you play hockey-"

"Let me?"

"-what if you had gotten hurt? And with your temper, you could have gotten suspended from the league or something!"

"So I have to give up on my dream because of a few what if's you have?" I asked. "Or do you just hate the idea of me being successful? You like being able to hold this over my head."

Jo poked her head out of the bathroom, her glare still in place. "I can't believe you would even accuse me of that!" She went back into the bathroom and I could hear her shuffling around the sink. "Of course I want you to be successful, but hockey isn't practical. You have to think of our kids."

I sighed, feeling my shoulders slump. Of course hockey was my dream, but I had to put my family first. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I got hurt and left them without their father. I thought about it everyday. As much as I hated to admit it, Jo was right. I groaned, covering my face with my hands and falling into the pillows. I could feel someone tugging at my hands and allowed them to move them. I was greeted by a pair of green eyes identical to my own staring down at me. "Wakey, wakey, daddy!" The little girl giggled.

I laughed, lifting my daughter above my head, making her squeal happily. "I'm up, baby. I'm up." Kayla continued to laugh as I brought her down and kissed her forehead. "Where's your brother?" I asked as I sat her down.

"He still sleeping." Kayla said in what she thought was a whisper but was really just breathier talking and finished pressing a finger to her lips cutely. Then again, everything a three year old does is cute.

"Kayla, why don't you wake Kyle up for breakfast?" Jo said as she entered the room.

Kayla nodded excitedly, climbing off the bed and running off to Kyle's room. Jo smiled at me as she climbed back on the bed and leaned down to place a kiss on my lips. "I know this wasn't exactly how you pictured it, but this is the life you need, Kendall." She said softly. I sighed again, my mind once again drifting to Logan. "Stop."

I looked to Jo with a raised brow. "Stop what?"

Jo was slightly glaring but it was also mixed with concern. "You're thinking about him."

"How did-"

"Every time you think about him, you get this far away look and your eyes get all sad." She pointed out. "It wasn't your fault and there's nothing you can do about it."

"I know but..." I paused, thinking back to the moment I was stuck in traffic. "I think I saw him today."

Jo's forehead wrinkled in thought. "You saw him?" Her tone sounded disbelieving.

"On my way home from the airport." I sat up slightly, mind reeling back to the brunet man sitting on the side of the road. The wheels in my head were turning quickly, already beginning to formulate a plan. "He looked just like him, and-"

"And nothing!" Jo interrupted me, he glare back in place. "Kendall, Logan made his choice a long time ago."

"But-"

"No, buts." She did it again. "We've all moved on with our lives, and Logan had his chance to be a part of yours. You have a _wife_ and a family now. Act like it." She said firmly. I didn't miss the extra emphasis on the word wife, and I couldn't help but feel a certain amount of coldness toward her for it. "Whoever you saw today wasn't Logan. You're tired. You were probably seeing things. Let it go." Suddenly her tone became light-hearted and sweet again. "You're on vacation! You need to relax." Then she was up and leaving.

I lied back into the pillows, deciding to catch up on the sleep I lost. Even as I drifted off the sleep, my mind was still on Logan.

…

"_Hey, boys." My mom greeted cheerily as the three of us entered the apartment, mumbling half-hearted replies. "Where's Logan?" The she questioned when she noticed the missing genius._

"_Where do you think?" James grumbled, falling onto the couch with a scowl._

_Carlos frowned at the pretty boy. "Don't be like that, James."_

"_I can't help it, Carlos." James glared at our shorter friend. "He keeps running off to do God knows what and you guys just sit back and let him do it."_

_I shot a glare at James. "We're not letting him do anything."_

"_If you guys would let me do it my way, Logan would be here."_

"_And he would just hate us!"_

"_He'd thank us later for saving his life!" James stood. "But if he wants to throw his life away, then fine, but I'm not going to sit around and watch."_

"_James-" Carlos tried to stop James, but the brnet kept going as he stepped to me._

"_I'm serious, Kendall." He was seething. "You've given him too many chances. If that's the life he wants, he shouldn't even bother to come back."_

"_James, that's enough." Mom finally cut in. James backed off and Carlos went to his side to try to calm him further. "Now we're all tired and frustrated. Turning against each other isn't going to fix this." She let out a calming breath, looking at all of us with tired eyes. "It's late, Katie's already in bed, and I think that's what we all should do—we should all...go to bed."_

_We all nodded, knowing that none of us would be able to rest so easily._

_The apartment was silent. It was always silent now. We had all gone to bed some time ago with the same looks of worry and disappointment. I was tired when I crawled into bed, but as I stared at the empty spot beside me, I couldn't will myself to fall asleep. So I stayed up and continued to wait. I could hear James and Carlos whispering on the other side of the wall. I didn't know what they were saying, but I knew they wouldn't be able to sleep until they knew that Logan was safe at home as well._

_Finally, at around three in the morning, I heard the apartment door shut and feet stumbling their way down the hall. I sat up when my bedroom door opened and Logan slipped in, hoping to be quiet. "Where have you been?" I spoke up._

_Logan let out a small peep as he jumped and turned around. That was something I normally would have found adorable, but my worry was slowly shifting into anger and I couldn't find myself to care. Even in the dark I could see Logan's dilated pupils, flushed skin, and shaking body. "Hey, Kendall, what are you doing up?" The corner of his lips turned upwards into a coy smile._

_My glare hardened at this. "Answer the question, Logan."_

"_Uh...ice skating?" The brunet laughed, peeling of his jacket and the rest of his clothes without any regard for me sitting there. He was normally so shy about things just as simple as removing his shirt, but he had become a totally different Logan lately._

"_This is serious, Logie."_

"_This is serious, Logie." He mocked me before jumping into the bed. "Why so serious?" He laughed more as he poked me._

_I grabbed his hands to stop him and forced his eyes to stay on mine. His smaller body continued to wiggle and writhe, either trying to break free or just unable to be still. "Logan, listen to me." He finally stopped laughing and moving, looking straight at me. "I need to know where you were tonight."_

_He rolled his eyes. "You know where I was." He mumbled, wrenching his chin from my grasp._

_At this I sighed. "Why do you keep doing this?" When he didn't answer, I forced his eyes back on me in a form grasp. "Why, Logan." I demanded._

"_Because everything is getting harder!" My eyes softened when I saw the tears gathering in his eyes. "Everything with the band is tougher; Gustavo is always calling us in to rehearse. I can't keep up with the dances and my parents are always on my back about my grades and becoming a doctor...and-and...it's hard, Kendall. I just needed something to help make it easier, and I thought I could handle it, I did. The more I did it, the more I thought I needed it and now I'm..." When he could no longer form words, he fell into my arms, sobbing._

_As I cradled my boyfriend in my arms, I noticed that James and Carlos' room had become quiet. They probably didn't want to disturb us, but I knew they were also waiting for any sign that they would have to intervene. I held Logan tighter, hating that out of all of us, he was the one this happened to. I hoped it would never be any of us, but I never thought it would be Logan. When his sobs quieted to soft hiccups, I shifted so that I could look at my boyfriend again. "Listen to me, Logan." I wiped the fallen tears from his cheeks, and my heart broke further when he looked up at me with his big brown eyes. "You don't have to do this by yourself. Me, James, Carlos, mom, even Gustavo and Kelly are all here to help you beat this."_

_He hiccuped once more and buried his face into my chest again. "I'm sorry, Kendall." He mumbled. I quietly shushed him as he continued to repeatedly apologize to me. "I'm trying to stop. I wanna stop."_

"_I know, Logie. I know. I'm gonna help you, okay?" Logan nodded, and I subconsciously squeezed tighter, afraid to let him go. "But Logan, you have to know that you have to give it up completely. Whatever life you have out there has to end now. There's no meeting in the middle."_

_I held back tears as I continued. "Because if you leave again...don't bother coming back." My voice shook as I repeated James' words._

_Logan nodded again with a sniffle. "I'll stop. I promise." He whimpered._

_That was good enough for me._

_The next day went by smoothly. When I woke up, Logan was there. There we hit a small bump when Logan refused to leave the room for breakfast and face everybody out of fear that they would judge him or hate him. I was finally able to coax him out of the room and into the kitchen, which was a great accomplishment—even with his face buried in my shoulder most of the time._

_After a long discussion, Kelly managed to get Gustavo and Mr. X to tone it down on Logan a bit. We made it all the way through dinner and movie night without another hitch. Carlos and James had finally stopped tip-toeing around Logan and he was happier because of it. It was nice seeing that smile again. When Logan said he was tired, we said our good nights to Carlos and James as we made our way to our room. Logan surprised me by pulling me into a long kiss as soon as the door was shut. It had been a while since the last time we had done anything intimate—even kiss._

_I savored every minute of making love to my beautiful boyfriend again. I drank in every moan, whimper, and gritted incoherencies that he released as we reached our peaks together. The moment was so incredible and intense it left the both of us shaking when it reached its end._

"_I love you so much, Kendall." Logan scooted closer to me, wrapping his arms around me and bringing his head to the crook of my neck. "So, so much."_

"_I love you too, Logie." I breathed deeply as our bodies relaxed against each others._

_Nothing else needed to be said then. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day. I look back on it for any signs or indication that it would happen, but I never find any. Even now, I wish had seen it coming._

_When I awoke the next morning, Logan wasn't there._

_He wasn't in the living room, the bathroom, or anywhere else in the apartment._

_I searched the entire Palm Woods and came up empty handed. I felt a myriad of emotions as I trudged back up to the apartment and fell to the couch. I was angry, confused, but mostly heartbroken. How could it do this to me and himself? He promised he would stop. He promised._

_When everyone woke up, I had the unfortunate job of breaking the news to everyone. Mom only nodded and continued with her day, but I could see this was killing her inside. She finally broke when she had to call Mrs. Mitchell and tell her the news. They cried together._

_Carlos didn't want to believe it. He kept telling himself and everyone else that Logan would come back. We didn't have the heart to discourage him, but a week later and still no sign from Logan, we were there to comfort him._

_Katie didn't act so broken up about it, but I knew she was sad about the idea of losing a brother._

_James was clearly angry. He and Logan had always been close, and for this to happen must have been killing him inside. So, he masked his heartache by lashing out._

_Seeing everyone else fall into their emotions so easily made me envious. Naturally, in a time of hardship, I took the role as the leader—everybody's rock. I didn't give into my emotions until three months and five days after Logan left—the day Jo came back. By the time she had reached my apartment, I assumed she had heard everything from people in the lobby._

_Jo just listened to me ramble about it for hours until I finally ran out of words to say and we were enveloped by silence. Then she spoke. "Maybe this was a sign." She said quietly._

"_A sign for what?" I spoke gruffly from the crying wearing out my voice._

"_A sign that it wasn't meant to be for you and Logan." She continued, placing a comforting hand on my thigh. "You gave him a choice, and if he cared about you, he would have chosen you."_

_I pressed my lips into a line as I thought. Jo had a point._

"_And maybe this is fate working it's magic that I would come back now." I was more confused by this until Jo went on. "Maybe..." She moved a bit closer to me, running her hand in circles on the inside of my thigh. "I'm supposed to help you through this."_

_Before I could voice another word, Jo had her lips pressed to mine. I slowly kissed back under the impression that Logan didn't want me. He didn't love me. Everything he had said to me was a lie. I was rougher with Jo than I ever was with Logan. I didn't need it to last; I just want to do it. I felt like I was getting back at Logan for making me feel like an idiot all this time. For lying to me._

_For breaking his promise._

_My judgment was clouded with suppressed emotions and I acted irrationally. It all went by in a blur, but the next thing I knew..._

"_Mom, Jo's...pregnant." I was announcing with Jo nodding excitedly beside me as she picked up where I left off._

"_And we're getting married!"_

_I didn't notice then the look of surprise and uncertainty underneath my mom's "excitement." Maybe if I had I would have rethought my next move. Soon after that we were moving out of the Palm Woods and into a house to prepare for the baby. Kyle Jacob Knight was born a few months later._

_Then we got married._

_Before I knew it Kayla Grace was on her way._

_Jo convinced me to give up on hockey and to join a career in business with her cousin. It wasn't my dream job—I found it hard to believe that paper pushing was anyone's dream job—but it provided plenty of money to take care of my family. I loved my kids with all my heart and I wouldn't take them back for anything, but I couldn't help but feel like something was missing._

"I didn't lose the paper work, David." I spoke into my blue tooth head phone as I drove.

After more naps than I needed and a few days of sitting around the house, I decided that I needed to get back to work and get my mind off of Logan. I know I was supposed to be on vacation, but with everything that has happened, I couldn't be by myself with my thoughts right now. The only break I got from thinking about Logan was when I was finally able to get the kids from school. Even as I made after school snacks for them, I thought of how much Logan loved kids. I would quickly shake those thoughts.

Jo was right; I was tired and delusional, and now it was bringing up old feelings that would distract me from more important things. "Of course I'm sure you didn't give it to me. If you gave it to me, I would have it!" I sighed heavily as David tried to stutter his way out of the situation. I glanced out of my windows for moment, only for someone to catch my eye. I barely took my eyes off him as I passed the brunet man again, the only thing distracting me was driving and David's nervous chatter in my ear. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just fax me the paper work." I quickly ended the call, eyes still focused on the man. When it became a dangerous angle to continue staring at him, my eyes went back to the road, but even then I continued to glance at him through my rear view mirror.

I wasn't seeing things this time.

That was the same brunet man who was on the side of the road near the airport. The one that looked like Logan.

I hesitated for a moment, my impulsive nature tell me to turn around and finally find out if that was my long lost best friend, but Jo kept coming to mind. She wouldn't like to find out that I spent time that I could have spent working, goofing off with some guy I've convinced myself is Logan.

I gripped my steering wheel tightly with a deep frown. _Just turn around. You're going to dive yourself crazy until you do._

I huffed, slamming my hand onto the wheel and swearing under my breath. I checked the traffic around me before making a quick u-turn and driving back down the path I came. I looked up and down the sidewalks for any sign of him, and let out a small breath of relief when I spotted him sitting on a porch, away from any other activity going on around him, still reading that book. I pulled over to the side of the road in front of the house.

I took another moment of hesitation, thinking over the consequences of this once again. I quickly pushed my way out of the car before I could talk myself out of it. I looked over the hood of my car at the brunet again. He still hadn't moved from his spot—he only indication that he was still alive was the moving of his lips as he read along and when he would reach down to turn a page. I let out a breath, trying to relax my body as I slowly made my way over to him.

The other occupants of the house stopped to stare at me. I wouldn't blame them. I was approaching casually and roughly dressed people, and from my guess, grooming wasn't the most important bullet on their to do list. I was in a perfectly tailored suit and tie. I looked—and felt—out of place here, but the closer I got to the brunet, the less that mattered.

Finally, I was right in front of him. He took notice of a shadow being cast over him and slowly looked up to me. I bit back a gasp at the brown eyes I would be able to recognize anywhere looking up at me tentatively. Opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Even if I wanted to, he beat me to the punch. "Look, I don't know what you think you have on me, but I haven't done anything." He said with a glare.

I blinked in confusion before finally finding words. "No, Logan. It's me." When he still stared at me with a slight glare, I sighed. "Kendall?" I tried again.

The dull eyes continued to look at me with a scrutinizing expression before his eyes went wide and that shine was back. "Kendall?" His tone still didn't sound like he believed it. I nodded having to fight the grin slowly spreading across my face and the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. "I-I can't believe it's you." He slowly stood, fidgeting as he stood before me. "How are you?"

"I'm..." I let out a breath, finally letting a smile come to my face. "I'm good. How are you?"

Logan continued to fidget, eyes moving every which way as he shrugged. I nodded, slightly understanding. After a few moments of awkward silence between us, Logan looked at me. "It's great seeing you again." He said quietly.

"You too." I smiled softly.

I watched as he lifted his arms slightly before retracting them. "Um...can I...?"

I nodded, maybe a little too eagerly, as I opened my arms to him. The shorter boy didn't waste time taking his place in my arms. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, taking in every detail of him that I had missed so much. His body still fit perfectly with mine. He was a little smaller now, but everything about him still felt perfect. He even smelled the same.

I tensed when I realized that I had my nose was buried in his hair and my lips just centimeters away from being pressed against his temple. I quickly released him from the hug, putting more distance between us. I wasn't sure what had come over me, but I knew it was totally inappropriate. I was married now, and I had kids I needed to take care of. Whatever Logan and I had was in the past, and I needed to move on. I ignored the look of hurt the spread over Logan's features as I stepped away from him. "So...it was nice seeing you." I finally said after a minute of awkward silence.

Logan smiled slightly at me, slightly fidgeting again. "You too."

I let out a breath, ready to turn around, go back to my car, and move on with my life. After all, I should have been satisfied. I found Logan and I could move on. When I reached my car, I found myself hesitating. My mind started screaming for me not to look back. I got the door open and paused, eyes moving up to the house and the brunet still standing where I left him, wearing a small sad smile.

_...Damn it._

"Logan," I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, not sure why I was doing this. He shouldn't effect me like this anymore. I sighed and continued. "I don't know if you're busy, but...maybe we should hang out and catch up."

I watched the brown eyes light up again and my old friend nod eagerly. "I'd love to."

I know I shouldn't have, but I felt a grin creeping it's way across my face and my stomach did a flip like back in the good old days. I didn't even try to shake off those feelings, knowing it would be useless. "Well, then, come on."


	2. Chapter 2

"So, where do you want to go?" I asked, glancing at Logan as we drove.

Logan looked out the window nervously. I assumed he wasn't used to being around so many people anymore, and at this time of day the streets of LA was crawling with people. "Um..." He started, biting his lip and eyes going downcast. "I don't know..." He trailed off again.

I placed a hand on his knee to stop his fidgeting that I could even see from the corner of my eye as I kept my eyes on the road. "Hey, relax." I said in what I hoped was a soothing tone. "We don't have to go anywhere crowded if you don't want to." I glanced quickly at him as we reached a red light. "Is that it? You're worried about what people might think?"

"Not about me." He responded quietly. I was confused by this. "What are people going to think when they see you with me? You're obviously a man who's looked highly upon." He finally looked to me, brown eyes scanning over my clothes sadly. "Are you sure you want to be seen with someone like me?"

My brows furrowed, feeling an intense mix of emotions flowing through me as he said this. I opened my mouth to respond, but my focus was put back on the road as a car honked behind me. I huffed, both hands gripping the wheel tightly as I went through the green light. "Logan, you're my best friend." I said after a moment of silence.

The brunet laughed. "That was years ago, Kendall."

"And it's still true!"

"How do you know?" I could feel Logan eyes on me again. "A lot has changed. I can already tell that much." He added in a voice barely above a whisper. "Don't try to convince me that nothing is different."

I sighed, rubbing my head in slight frustration. This isn't how I wanted this to go. I was getting attached again. I couldn't let that happen, but Logan was making it harder than it was supposed to be. "Things _are _different, I know, but you're still my best friend. That will never change." I reassured him.

I let out another sigh when he remained silent. "Are you hungry?" I glanced at the brunet again to see him shrug. I silently pulled into the parking lot of a fortunately practically empty restaurant.

The silence continued as we made our way inside and got seated at a table by the window. I watched Logan fidget in his seat as he continued to look around nervously. "Logan," I couldn't help but chuckle at the wide eyed look I got in return. "Relax, there's barely anyone here and we're at a secluded table anyway."

He continued to look at me with wide brown eyes as he nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I chuckled again, glad he was allowing himself to relax.

Logan took a deep breath, a small smile coming to his face as he looked at me. "So, what's with the suit and tie?" He grinned at me. "I thought ties were only for serious situations and special occasions."

I chuckled with him, not quite believing that he remembered something like that. "I dress like this for my job." I shrugged.

"Work?" Logan seemed surprised by this. "What happened to hockey?"

I sighed which actually ended up as a long huff. "I...never played hockey." It felt weird saying this. Hockey was always my dream, and I still couldn't believe that I didn't do it. "I'm an administrative executive at an advertizing company downtown."

"Oh," Logan's brows were furrowed into an unreadable expression before it morphed into a small smile again. "Well, that sounds fun..." From his tone, I could tell that he didn't think that the job was a good match for me either.

Again, I shrugged. "It is...sometimes. I get to travel sometimes and I get an assistant." I chuckled to myself as I thought of David running around my office right now, trying to find the correct paper work.

Logan chuckled. "Probably the only assistant on a pedestal, right?"

"Nah, I torture the poor kid." I laughed again, knowing that I came down on David a lot but he was young and eager to please me which made him the best assistant in the world. I wouldn't have been able to handle some of this stuff without him, and what I lacked in the gentle boss area, I definitely made up for. I paid him well, so he didn't really complain.

"That sounds awesome." Logan commented with a smile. "So, he like does everything you say?" He had finally stopped fidgeting and was starting to look like the same old Logan again. I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I was reminded of the old times.

I began to tell Logan a story of when the company first hired David for me, and I sent him on a wild goose chase all over town just so I could see how dedicated he was to the job. Logan was laughing and making small comments as I spoke, and I was still grinning widely at him. Not because of the story but just because, if even for today, I had my best friend back.

We were having such a good time just talking together that we never ordered any food or drinks. I don't even remember if the waiter even came over. Maybe he did and I just didn't notice. I wouldn't put it passed me. It was hard to focus on anything else besides Logan.

I shook my head of those inappropriate thoughts again. I couldn't get attached. This was just for a day. Just one day and then we could both go on with our lives, knowing that the other would be fine. I chewed my lip nervously. I wasn't really sure if Logan would be okay after we parted ways. He might not be okay. This could have been the last time I saw Logan. I sighed inwardly, not wanting to alert Logan to my shift in mood from bleak thoughts.

"Kendall?" I looked up at Logan again, only to see he was looking at something behind me. He hadn't called my name. I looked over my shoulder and cursed under my breath at the sight of my wife and some of her friends. They approached the table, Jo slightly glaring at me on the way. "Kendall, what are you doing here?" She gave a side glance to Logan before going back to me. She must not have recognized him. With his hair longer and bangs in his face, he was hard to distinguish.

"Jo," I sighed. "I'm on my lunch break. I'm allowed to have a lunch break."

Jo and her little flunkies rolled their eyes and I couldn't help but feel like I was back in high school for a moment. "Yeah, well, you have a family to provide for, remember? I can't have you goofing off when you could have been working." Jo's eyes moved to Logan with a inquisitive expression, clearly wondering why he was there but didn't say anything to him.

It was my turn to roll my eyes when she said just what I predicted she would when she found out. "You have kids, Kendall?" Logan's voice spoke up, cutting through my annoyance with Jo.

I looked up to see a small but slightly sad smile on Logan's face. I returned the look with a nod. "Yeah, I do." My smile grew slightly as I thought of them. "Kyle and Kayla." I reached into my pocket and showed him the pictured of my children that I kept there. Kyle's first birthday, Kayla's third, and a more recent professional portrait of the two of them together, followed by a family portrait with all four of us that Jo insisted that we get done.

Logan looked thoughtfully at the pictures. "They're beautiful. They look just like you." He laughed slightly. I knew when he had reached the picture of all of us from the frown that spread over his features. "It's a beautiful family." He laughed again with a bitter undertone.

Before I could respond, Jo cut in. "And...who are you?" She asked rudely, snatching my wallet from Logan.

I shot a glare at her before speaking. "Jo, it's Logan."

"Logan?" She snapped her head in my direction with wide and astonished eyes. She turned back to Logan, studying him for a moment before putting a scowl in place. "Girls, can you wait for me at the table?" She said without breaking her gaze on my best friend. The women behind her turned around to leave, glaring at me as they walked away.

Now it really felt like high school.

"Kendall, how could you?" Jo was looking at me with hurt and angry eyes. I felt guilt run through me for not feeling remorse toward her.

"Jo-"

"It's like you're cheating on me!" She interrupted, drawing a few looks from the small amount of people around us.

I sighed, seeing Logan start to fidget again. "I'm not cheating on you." I whispered harshly.

"Then why didn't you tell me you were going to lunch with your _ex boyfriend _today?"

"It's not like I planned it." I huffed, leaning closer to the angry blond. "And it's only for a day." I whispered.

"It is?" Logan was looking at me with wide eyes. I knew my guilt was completely from causing the hurt look on the brunet's face.

"Logan..." I struggled to find words. "I-I didn't mean-"

Again, Jo interrupted me, hard glare directed at Logan. "What? Did you think that this was your chance to get him back? That he still loved you and he's been waiting for you to show up again all this time?"

I looked at Jo in shock. "Jo!" I knew she was mean sometimes but this was low, even for her.

"No, Kendall! He made his choice and broke your heart because of it. Are you going to let him do that again?" I looked to Logan to see his eyes downcast and body trembling slightly. "He was a little crackhead then, and that's what he'll always be—a useless crack head."

Logan stood abruptly and ran out of the restaurant. "Logan!" I called after him, standing to follow, but Jo got in my way.

"Let him go. You don't need him."

I glared at the blonde, not bothering to justify her words with a response as I ran after Logan. I made it outside the restaurant. "Logan!" I let out a breath of relief, seeing Logan still close enough for me to catch and running to him and making him face me. "Logan, listen to me." He refused to meet my gaze, but he wasn't fighting against me, so I assumed he was listening. "I'm so sorry about what Jo said to you, but..." I paused, swallowing hard. "W-what did you expect?"

Logan was fidgeting and trembling again. "I-I-I don't know. When you showed up and...I thought..." He shook his head, voice becoming too shaky to continue. I held him tighter when I felt him trying to get away. "Let me go, Kendall."

"No, just...listen to me." I held one wrist in my hand as I used my now free hand to dig frantically in my pockets. I finally grasped the tiny business card in my hand—I had to remember to thank David for making them for me. I presented it to the brunet staring at me in confusion. "Here's my card. If you need me for anything, anything at all, don't hesitate." I said calmly, but inside I was desperate.

It was only supposed to last a day, but I couldn't let him go that easily. It was harder than I thought it would be.

"Please take it." I said when he still just stared at my hand.

I had to fight back my grin when he took it rather hesitantly. I finally released my grip on his wrist and allowed him to walk away from me again.


	3. Chapter 3

I rubbed my temples with a heavy sigh as I entered my office. After Logan left I went back into the restaurant to deal with Jo. After a conversation that mostly consisted of her annoyingly nosy friends telling me what a bad husband I was and that I didn't deserve a woman like Jo while said woman ignored me, I jumped back into my car and headed back to work. Outside in the parking lot, receiving a text from Jo that simply said "_We'll talk about this at home_" is what caused my head to throb with stress.

"David..." I whined as I walked by my young assistant's desk.

The boy jumped up from his seat, aspirin and glass of water ready for me. I took them thankfully, throwing the pills in my mouth and downing the glass of water in a matter of seconds. Sometimes, David reminded me of Kelly—same ebony skin, always ready to step in and prevent me from exploding under the pressure of my job. Keeping me alive should be on his job description. "Another fight with your wife?" He asked with concern as he followed me to my office.

"Not yet." I sighed audibly as I fell into my big, comfy exec-chair.

David winced, knowing all about how bad Jo could get. She had called him an incompetent, idiot on more than one occasion, and I knew he didn't like her at all and her feelings for him were mutual. She has actually tried to convince me to replace him, saying that I spent more quality time with him than her. It was actually true. I would much rather spend the day working with David than being one half of a "happily" married couple with Jo. "Sorry." He mumbled, moving across the room to prepare a cup of hot tea for me.

"It's not your fault." I smiled slightly. "You didn't convince me to marry her."

"No, because I have _good _ideas." I knew he was only half joking.

I chuckled all the same. I wasn't in the right state of mind when I slept with Jo that day and I only married her because I felt obligated, and I was pretty sure her dad would have had me killed if I hadn't. "So, what's on the schedule for today?" I sighed, ready to throw myself into my work and forget all about Jo and Logan—except forgetting Logan was easier said than done.

"Um...not much." David came back over, sitting the hot tea in front of me. I smiled gratefully. "Your meeting with the president of that bubble gum company was rescheduled because his flight was delayed, and you have teams covering all your other projects, they're all on schedule according to their progress reports, and you don't have to pick up your kids until four."

I nodded, always impressed that he was able to commit so many things to memory. "And what about that paperwork? Did you get it faxed off?" I raised a questioning brow at him, fighting off a small smirk.

David glared at me. "Mr. Knight either I definitely gave you that paperwork and you're fucking with me _again, _or such a file doesn't exist because I can't find it anywhere!" His expression immediately softened and he straightened up, tone lowering again. "Sir." He added obediently.

I smirked at him...because I was fucking with him. The paperwork had been faxed off days ago.

"Well, I guess everything is taken care of then." I sat back in my chair, smirking widely at the glare David was once again giving me.

"Should we..." David's eyes shifted around the room. "Should we go home?"

I grimaced, not wanting to go home until I had to. David nodded in understanding, sitting in the chair in front of my desk. "I'm sure we can find something that needs to be done." Another thing I was thankful for was how understanding and the young man was. I could see us being friends outside of the workplace if he didn't already work for me. Otherwise it would be like paying him to be my best friend, and that was just a little bit sad...

David busied himself with organizing some stray papers on my desk, while I sipped my tea. Other than the shuffling of papers and my occasional slurp, it was silent. It wasn't quite awkward, but it wasn't relaxed either. Finally, much to my relief, David spoke up. "Mr. Knight, can I ask you a...personal question?" He looked at me almost timidly.

I furrowed my brows seriously at the boy. Maybe I was too quick to feel relief. I nodded slowly and cautiously.

David bit his lip, not looking up from his busy hands. "Well...I've noticed that you spend a lot of your time working, trying to avoid your wife." He started off slightly, taking a small pause to look to me and check if he had over stepped some boundary yet. I continued to look at him with an expression of what I hoped was indifference, and he continued. "If you don't want to be around her, why are you married to her?" He looked back to me to gauge my reaction, but I didn't move. He must have taken this as a bad sign because he began to ramble, apologizing for getting too personal and trying to justify his question while also saying it was none of his business.

"David!" I finally stopped him. "It's fine." I sat my cup down, letting out a small huff as I thought. "It's a...long and complicated story. Let's just say that this is the life fate has chosen for me."

David frowned at me and from the wrinkles in his forehead, I knew he was trying to make sense of my words. "Don't take this offensively, Mr. Knight, but...Jo doesn't seem like the type of..._person _you'd spend your life with."

I furrowed my brows at my young assistant, frown forming on my face. David was also looking at me with a firm look. For a while we just stared at each other, neither saying anything and no one moving. I wasn't sure when my surprised and possibly slightly fear-stricken countenance had shifted into a scowl, but either way it was aimed at David as I sat back in my chair. "Maybe you should go make sure that file was faxed after all." I spoke, words soft but harsh as I brought my cup back up to my lips.

David blinked at me, confusion and concern briefly flashing across his features before that professional obedience returned and he nodded before leaving.

I groaned, leaning my head back, and wondering why the effects of the aspirin wasn't kicking in. I could feel my potential headache increasing in intensity before it even arrived right behind my eyes. I always knew David was a smart kid, but maybe he was a bit too smart. How did he even figure it out? It's not like I went around advertizing my sexuality. I wasn't constantly checking out other men—to be honest, I haven't been attracted to another guy since Logan.

Or maybe it was painfully obvious to the outside world that I wasn't in love with Jo.

My eyes snapped open, not believing the thought had crossed my mind. I had never admitted that before, no matter how true it might have been. Jo was my wife and we have a family together. Wasn't I supposed to love her? No matter how many reasons I came up with for why I _should _love my wife, the fact is...I just _don't._

Jo had changed throughout the years. At first I thought it was because of her pregnancy hormones making her moody, but even after Kyle was born...she stayed mean. She was always trying to control everything I do and she always accused me of cheating on her. No matter how I felt about Jo, I have always been faithful to her but she still doesn't trust me.

I don't think I even _like_ Jo.

That's sadder than paying David to be my friend...

With another heavy sigh, I stood up, leaving my office. I walked out to see David sitting at his desk, typing away at his computer. "Is there something you need, Mr. Knight?" I felt guilt rush through me when he didn't even look at me.

"I...just wanted to apologize." I said quietly. It wouldn't do me any good for other assistants and secretaries to see me showing anything other than confident superiority towards my assistant. That would give them the wrong image. Not that I wanted them to think I was an ass, but it kept them from trying to take advantage of me or their own bosses—who actually were asses. "You kind of hit a nerve in there." I shrugged sheepishly.

"Clearly..." He mumbled.

"Anyway," I rolled my eyes. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything to anyone about _that_." David finally gave me a sideways glance and I could tell that he was skeptical. "There would be a very generous bonus in it for you." I added with a hopeful yet nervous smile.

David then turned around in his chair, scowl aimed directly at me. "Are you trying to bribe me, Mr. Knight?"

I shifted my eyes. "Is it working?"

The boy rolled his eyes at me. "I've been working for you for years. I've kept company secrets for you that could have gotten us both fired without wanting anything in return. I think you can trust me with this." He huffed before turning back to his computer.

"I know I can...I just can't risk a rumor like this spreading."

"Rumor?" David laughed humorlessly, making me narrow my eyes at him. "A rumor would imply that the story spreading around could possibly be false." He muttered under his breath, but I still clearly heard him. Before I could speak and possibly threaten his employment, he continued in his previous tone. "And why? So, you can keep your job that you don't even like?" David tilted his head at me. I clenched my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose when the throb behind my eyes increased as I tried to think of an explanation for him. "Or so you can keep your wife that you don't even love?"

"I told you it's complicated." I glared at the young man again. "And let's not forget that if I don't have a job, you don't have a job." When David just remained silent, I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to look around at what the other teams are up to before I leave. You can have the rest of the day off if you want."

David glanced up at me with accusing eyes. I never gave him the day off unless it was a holiday. He must have thought I was still trying to bribe him. "I'd rather not. Besides, you're lost without me." He began gathering up some paperwork that I assumed were progress reports and stuck them in a clipboard as he mumbled about if I screwed something up it'd be both of our asses.

I brushed off his mumblings and just waited for him to be ready. "I apologize, Mr. Knight."

I looked to David with a frown. "What?"

"I overstepped some boundaries that made you uncomfortable. It's none of my business what goes on in your personal life...though I do keep most of it organized for you." I let out a small chuckle a that. "But even though you're my boss, and you've made it clear that this is a strict professional relationship, I just want you to be happy." His tone clearly showed that he was concerned for my well-being.

I smiled at that, not hearing such genuine concern for me in someone's voice since the last time I spoke to my mother. "You're a good kid, David, and I appreciate your concern." I patted his shoulder in a friendly fashion. "Just try to be less of a smart ass."

"Not possible, sir."

…

It figures that just as my mood was lifted and my headache was gone, I got a text from Jo on my way home, telling me that I didn't have to pick up Kyle and Kayla and to come straight home. I probably sat in the driveway for about ten minutes before I was able to drag myself out of the car and into the house. I shut the door and moved quietly, not wanting to alert Jo to my presence just yet.

"Kendall?" I heard from upstairs.

Did she have super sonic hearing or something? I let out a breath, mentally preparing myself for whatever was to come—would it be happy or psycho Jo? The latter was more likely, but it didn't hurt to hope for the former. "Yeah?" I called back.

There were footsteps moving heavily down the stairs and toward my spot in the living room. I stood, unmoving, not from fear or nerves, but just the slumped defeat of wanting to get the fight over with. Jo hen appeared in front of me, arms crossed and jaw tense. So much for happy Jo. "Do you want to explain to me what happened today?" She said surprisingly calm for such an intense demeanor.

"...Where are the kids?"

"Why does that matter?"

"I'd like to know where my kids are before you start another screaming match with me."

"Don't worry about the kids; they're with your mother. And who says this has to be a fight?" Jo's voice raised. "All of this can be solved quickly if you say all of the right things."

"All of the right things?" I couldn't believe her sometimes. "Jo, there's never any right things with you! You're always criticizing me, and getting worked up over nothing. That lunch was nothing. I was out with a friend. I go out with James and Carlos all the time."

Jo looked at a loss for words for a second, mouth opening and closing as she searched her mind for a response. "That's different!" She finally settled on, turning on her heal and walking away from me. She always did this—walking away in order to get the last word in an argument that she might not win.

"How is it different?" I asked, one step behind her. I wasn't going to let this argument drop so easily.

"You know why it's different." She turned to glare at me as we reached the middle of the stairs.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Are you jealous because Logan is my ex?" The blonde crossed her arms again with a glare. "Jo, I married _you_, didn't I?" I saw something briefly flash through the brown eyes but it was gone before I could even think much about it. "You're being silly about this?"

Jo chewed the inside of her cheek thoughtfully and I waited patiently for her to speak again. "I don't want you hanging around Logan."

I blinked in shock. Was she seriously saying this? Logan was my best friend. He was a best friend I had known since elementary school and that I hadn't seen in years. I could have possibly found him again and Jo didn't want me to see him anymore? "Are you serious?"

Jo nodded, surely.

I gaped at the woman. "Why not?"

"Because I said so!" Jo stomped her foot in a childish manner and went to continue stomping up the stairs.

"What is wrong with you?" I yelled at my wife, still following her.

Jo stopped, gaping almost horrifyingly at me as if I had just asked her the most unbelievable and social taboo thing in the world. "Excuse me?" She shrieked.

"I work a job I hate everyday to provide for you and my kids. I don't ask for anything from you. I come home to you every night, and I have to go through this accusatory shit almost every night but I keep coming home to you!" I tried desperately to get her to understand. "Are you so insecure now that I can't even have friends unless you approve?"

Jo's glare hardened at me as I finished. "I'm _not _insecure." She said slowly. "I care about you, Kendall. Logan broke your heart and I had to pick up the pieces. I'm just trying to keep you safe." Her face slowly softened as she came closer to me, cupping her hand on my cheek and caressing it gently. It was a ironic gesture for her next words. "People like Logan are unstable. You think he's going to change, but he'll go back on his word. He can't be trusted."

I pursed my lips into a line as I considered this. It was indeed a risk to let Logan back into my life, my heart, but... "He's my friend."

Jo scoffed, dropping her hand, and glare forming on her face once again. Or perhaps that had just become her default face. "How can you still consider him your friend after everything that happened?"

"How can you still be mad at him?" I sighed. "We were all under pressure. It's not like we all hadn't thought of it at some point. The only difference is that Logan became a victim of the temptation. He's still our same friend."

"Logan Mitchell was _never_ my friend." Jo spat hatefully and then turned around, stomping into our bedroom.

I stood shocked, staring at the closed door.

…

"What do she mean 'Logan was never her friend'?" Carlos questioned with that typical confused puppy expression of his as I talked with him and James over Skype.

"I don't know. I thought you all got along with Jo." I shrugged.

"_We_ did." Carlos shrugged as well. "Now that I think about it, Logan and Jo only had one real conversation. At our party, when she told him to go after Camille."

I nodded, not recalling another conversation between the two. "But does that mean that they didn't get along? Neither of them really gave any indication that they didn't like each other, did they?"

"I don't know, dude." Carlos sighed.

My eyes shifted to the uncharacteristically silent brunet in the next window. "What do you think, James?"

The pretty boy sighed. "I don't know and I don't care." He said. "Why are we talking about Logan, anyway?"

I rolled my eyes at him and from Carlos' expression, I could tell that he couldn't believe James' reaction either. "Don't tell me that you're still mad him, too?"

"It's not his fault." Carlos added.

"He made his choice, Carlos! We obviously weren't as important as his addiction." James snapped, muscles going tense.

I shook my head, not believing how much James sounded like Jo right now. It was the first time we had discussed Logan since our time at the Palm Woods and I knew it was still a sore subject for him. "James, how can you think that? Jo might not have liked Logan, but he was _your _best friend."

"Yeah, why are you being such an ass?" Carlos was clearly glaring at James' window. "He was practically your brother."

James looked away from the laptop screen. "If that mean anything to Logan, he would be here."

All three of us went silent for a while. I didn't doubt that all of our minds were on Logan. Everything changed when he left. James seemed to become angry at the world. I hadn't realized how important Logan was to him until then. It got worse when the band came to its inevitable end. It was James' dream to be a famous singer, and it was suddenly yanked for him. Carlos still held out hope, and that resulted in him and James butting heads most of the time. At first it was just about Logan, then they were fighting about everything else.

It wasn't the same kind of arguing that they did before when it was all just a part of their bromance—when their fights were a way they showed their affection that wasn't "too mushy and girly." They couldn't be in the same room as each other without fighting about something. Everyone could feel the growing tension between them, and all the fighting put an obvious strain on their friendship.

That's why I was so reluctant to bring up the Jo situation. I wouldn't be able to tell them about the fight without mentioning Logan. I managed to keep out the details about finding him and taking him out to lunch. I wasn't sure how they would react to finding out that Logan was in the same state we last saw him.

"I gotta go, guys." James spoke up first before immediately shutting off his connection.

"Yeah, I better get going." Carlos mumbled. We said our good byes before he cut his connection as well.

I sighed closing my laptop before leaning back in my desk chair, rubbing my hands over my face tiredly. "Kendall?" A small voice came from the doorway of the room I—actually David—had recently converted into a home office. I looked up at Jo's timid form standing at the doorway. I gave her a small smile, beckoning her over. She moved over to me, taking a seat in my lap. "I'm sorry." She said softly after much silence.

She wasn't. "It's okay." I gave her cheek a soft peck. "I'm sorry too."

I wasn't.

Jo grinned, leaning in and kissing me deeply. I knew where this would lead, and I knew I wasn't up to it. I was never in the mood for it. What Jo called making love, never felt right with her. It hadn't felt right for years. It was just sex that left me feeling indifferent, but turning her down would just result in another fight.

So when Jo grabbed my arm and lead me upstairs, I reluctantly followed.


	4. Chapter 4

My alarm went off at six o'clock in the morning. I groaned, when I peaked open my eyes and saw that the sun wasn't even up yet. I shouldn't have been surprised. The sun was never up at this hour. I knew that, but that didn't make me any less tired or anymore willing to get out of bed. "Kendall, shut that thing off." Jo's cranky morning voice was muffled by the pillow she had her face buried in, but it was enough incentive to shut off the alarm and drag myself out of bed. I yawned loudly as I made my way to the bathroom and continued with my morning routine.

I walked out of the bathroom after a nice hot shower, glancing at the wall clock. Six-thirty. Right on schedule. I then opened the closet, sliding clothes aside as I searched for a suit to wear.

"Kendall!" Jo groaned, sitting up and glaring at me.

"What?"

"Why are you making so much noise?" She grunted.

I paused for a second. Jo complaining about noise was out of the ordinary. I've been doing the same routine for years and she's never complained that I was making too much noise. In fact, I'm pretty sure what I was doing was considered quiet. I looked to her with questioning eyes, but didn't voice my annoyance with her trying to start a fight with me. "I'll...keep it down." I rolled my eyes when she replied with a curt 'good' and fell back into the bed.

It had been over a month since running into Logan again and fighting with Jo, and I hadn't heard from Logan since. I thought that after the first week with no word from him, I would just forget about him and slip back into my hold routines, but I was more hopeful than anything. I shouldn't have been surprised that Logan plagued my thoughts more and more with every passing day when he didn't call. I would constantly check my cell phone missed calls; I would always go to David, asking if anyone had called for me; I was slightly ashamed to say that every time my phone rang, I secretly hoped it was Logan.

It never was.

I spent a little too much time dwelling on it. When I should have been working, I sometimes found myself trying to come up with excuses of why Logan wouldn't have called. Maybe he didn't need me for anything. I told him to call when he needed, but that didn't mean he couldn't call just to check in. We were still friends. I reassured him of that many times that day. Maybe he took the whole situation wrong and didn't think I still wanted to be friends—he thought I was just taking pity on him.

I groaned at that thought, wishing more than anything that I could turn back time and go about that situation all over again. It was all my fault. I should have known from the beginning that I couldn't just hang out with Logan for a day and move on. It was impossible. I wasn't sure what it was that kept my mind on Logan Mitchell—the nostalgia of being with him again or my need to want to help him in every way I possibly could. Because despite what we went through back in the day, Logan was still Logan, and I cared about him.

...I would do the same for James or Carlos...because they were my friends.

Maybe Logan just didn't have a phone.

It was possible. I don't think a person...in that situation would make their first priority having a phone.

I sighed, slumping into the seat of my car as I thought of Logan's "situation". It had been years, and it still broke my heart even more to think about it. It should have bothered me anymore, right? I have more important things to deal with now, and everyone else had moved on. Mom, Katie, Kelly, Gustavo—though he has a heart of stone and didn't show much interest in the situation to begin with, I knew he felt that ache as well and had probably forgotten about it already. James and Carlos were living happy lives and Logan probably didn't cross their minds at all.

Why was I having such a hard time moving on? What was wrong with me?

I huffed in frustration, deciding that sitting in my car, thinking about why I couldn't stop thinking about Logan wasn't helping and that I should get back to work. I picked up my ear piece and adjusted it. "Call David." I said as I started my car and finally pulled out of my driveway. I waited while the line rang three times before David finally answered. "Were you asleep at your desk again?" I asked before he could even say hello.

"No, sir. I was dealing with something for you."

David sounded a little distracted, but I figured it was just because one of the team members screwed up and he was the only one there to handle it. It was pretty early, and the other execs didn't like to start until ten. I would start my day around eight, before anyone was even in the office. Not because I liked to—I actually hate getting up early—I just like being out of the house before Jo gets up. I sighed inwardly, just then realizing how bad that sounded. "I'm sure you handled it well because you're perfect at everything."

David chuckled. "Far from it, Mr. Knight. I can't skip rocks on a pond."

I furrowed my brows in confusion, but an amused smile was slowly creeping its way across my face. "You are the weirdest kid, do you know that?" I laughed.

"I'm well aware, sir." David laughed as well. "Did you call for anything?"

"Uh...yeah," I started slowly. "I was wondering..."

"No, you don't have any missed calls." David guessed immediately. "Normal people aren't up this early."

I rolled my eyes, not believing he was still complaining about that. "You wold tell me if I had any missed calls, right? There are none you're hiding from me are you?"

"Mr. Knight, unless you give me direct instructions to ignore a call, I tell you about every one you receive."

I sighed, knowing that meant that Logan hadn't called. So much for moving on. I parked my car in the practically vacant parking lot and climbed out. "I'm on my way up. _Please, _have something for me to do when I get there. I need a distraction today."

"Don't worry. What's in your office will be distraction enough for both of us." David's tone once again became distracted.

My brows furrowed again as I rode the elevator up to the floor where my office was located. I ended the call when the doors opened and I stepped inside the space where all the execs' offices were located. Empty—just like every morning. Not even an assistant was there to fill the empty spaces at their desks. Nothing out of the ordinary. I continued my walk towards my office, ready to start the day and forget about Logan when David shuffled his way out of my office, only cracking the door open enough for him to slip through it before promptly closing it again.

He looked up at me with nervous eyes that made me even more confused. "What's going on?" I asked him.

"You have a visitor." He answered vaguely.

"This early?" I racked my brain for a name. "Oh, god! Is it Jo?" I whispered, looking at my office windows, sighing in relief when I saw they were closed. I was already planning my hasty and clever escape when David spoke up.

"It's not Jo." He said calmly, but that nervousness was still there. "It's a male visitor."

I relaxed slightly, but David's demeanor kept me on edge. "Who? James? Carlos?" I took a long shot. "My dad?" I knew that was unlikely—my father moved to Arizona with his new wife and family when Katie was two, and he wanted nothing to do with us—but with the way David was acting, I would guess anything.

"No." David sighed, almost looking reluctant. "He said his name was Logan."

My eyes widened. Logan was here? "Logan? Logan Mitchell?"

"He didn't give a last name, sir."

It had to be him. I didn't know any other Logans. I went to open the door, but David side-stepped me, effectively blocking my way. "What are you doing?" I stared at him like he was crazy.

"Nothing, just...do you think this is a good idea?"

I was barely paying attention. All I could think about was Logan being on the other side of that door, waiting for me. "David, please. This is personal."

"I know that, but I heard you and Jo arguing about someone named Logan before, and I know I'm the last person to care about what Jo wants, but just talking about this Logan guys seems to upset her a lot."

"A lot of things upset Jo—" I flailed my arms slightly. "money, you, our bed being made the wrong way." I let myself calm down a little, but I was getting desperate. "This is something I have to do."

David looked hesitant, but nodded. I went for the knob again but he stopped me. "I just want to warn you." I resisted groaning like a child from all this teasing. "He's kind of...incapacitated right now."

My brow rose when David finally moved away. I was a little less eager to go inside then. David's vague and cryptic words ringing in my head made me unsure of what to expect when I stepped into the room. I let out a breath, finally taking hold of the knob and walking inside.

There on the couch of my office, wrapped in an unfamiliar blanket laid my best friend, shivering almost violently as he clutched at the blanket surrounding him. This wasn't the first time I had seen Logan like that, but it's not something you got used to. It didn't get easier with experience. It would always hurt to see him like this. I wanted to rush to his side and hold him and comfort him like I used to, but it felt like something was holding me back. The urge was strong though. It took almost all of my willpower not to do it.

Instead, I calmly walked to the brunet, shutting the door behind me for privacy. I knelt in front of him, taking in the thin layer of sweat that covered his face and the long, dark brown locks that were matted to his forehead. His closed eyes slowly fluttered open when I instinctively reached to wipe the hair from his face. My breath hitched with emotion at the dull, blank eyes staring back at me. I swallowed around the lump I hadn't realized was growing in my throat. "Sorry..." I whispered, pulling back my hand from running through his hair.

"Don't stop." His quiet voice responded.

I nodded, reaching up to continue running my fingers through the shorter man's hair. His eyes fluttered shut once again, and I almost thought he was asleep until he spoke. "I'm sorry, Kendall." He whimpered.

"Don't be sorry." I chuckled. "I didn't specify whether you should call or whatever."

A small smile appeared. "Not that." He opened his eyes, looking sadly at me. "I promised I'd stop. I broke my promise, and I hurt you."

I shook my head. "We don't have to talk about that."

Logan nodded, if possible, looking sadder than before. "I wanna stop." I whispered. "I've tried. I've tried to stop so I can keep my promise, but..." I shushed him, not even hesitating to bring him into a hug as he got choked up with emotion. Logan clutched my shirt between his fists, burying his face into my neck. I could feel his tears dripping onto my skin, but I didn't care. "I want to stop, Kendall, but I can't do it by myself. I need help." He looked up at me with tearful brown eyes. "I need you."

I blinked back my own potential tears, feeling that lump swell even more at the sight in front of me. "Okay, Logie." I nodded, pulling him closer to me. "I'll get you help."

Logan sniffed, and I could feel him smile into my neck. "You called me Logie."

_Shit. _I sighed, feeling that same attachment from years ago rebuilding itself. No matter how much I tried to deny it and everything I did to prevented was to no avail. I couldn't resist my Logie.


	5. Chapter 5

It had taken me an hour to comfort Logan. I told David to push back my meetings and if anyone called, he should tell them I was in a meeting. I didn't miss the disapproving look he shot me when I told him this, but the young man didn't say anything as he left.

I continued to relax with Logan on the couch, my back pressed into the seat cushions while he snuggled on top of me. I was running my fingers through his hair as I told him about what was going on with everybody. He was happy to know that James was still about to become famous by pursuing an acting career. He was surprised to find out that Carlos had written a few children's books. He had taken that wild imagination of his and put on paper for people with just as active imaginations to enjoy. I told him how Katie was going to business school and planned on stealing David's job some day and slowly build her way to the top.

I found myself repeatedly smiling widely every time Logan would laugh or smile into my chest.

It should have made me feel guilty about how easily I cuddled with him and how right it felt having him snuggled in my arms again. I watched him slowly falling asleep, eyes fluttering shut and head dropping every now and again before he would open his eyes, his head snapping up. I chuckled at the sight, pulling the blanket tighter around the both of us. "Why don't you go to sleep?" I whispered.

"...Not sleepy." The brunet mumbled into my chest.

"Yes, you are."

"No'm not..." He trailed off with a yawn.

I smiled to myself when Logan's eyes finally slipped shut and he let himself fall asleep. I waited until I was sure he was asleep before carefully slipping my body from under his and standing. I readjusted his body so that he was comfortable, mentally berating myself for letting my hand travel to his cheek and linger there.

I snapped out of it, reminding myself that this wasn't the past and I put all of that behind me. I took one more glance at Logan before I left, feeling a smile involuntarily creeping its way across my features. Maybe everything in my past wasn't completely behind me.

I sighed, backing out of my office and quietly shutting the door. I jumped when I turned around and saw David standing there, arms across his chest and expression turned into that disapproving frown once again. "Do you wanna tell me what's going on?" His eyebrows rose expectantly.

I sighed, looking around at the busy work place around me. "Let's talk somewhere private." I whispered, reaching into my pocket for the key to my office. I quickly locked the door, not wanting anyone to come looking for me and find Logan.

I walked in what I hoped was a casual manner to an empty conference room, David following me inside and shutting the door behind him. David then turned back to me, that same disapproving look on his face, but this time laced with disappointment. "Is there a reason that you've spent half the work day cuddling with this guy?"

"We weren't...cuddling." David gave me a look that let me know he clearly didn't believe me, but I wasn't going to admit to anything. "It's complicated." I said instead.

"Alright, let's start with something simple." David locked the door, and I tensed. I knew he wouldn't let me out of this room until he got answers. "Who is he?"

I noticed the look on David's face was similar to the one Jo gave me when she was jealous, but I figured he was just suspicious. I took a deep breath preparing to tell David everything. I started with how Logan was an old friend of mine—even letting it slip that we dated for a while—and everything about how were in a band and Logan wanted to be a doctor and how trying to make both of those things happen put him under a lot of stress.

I told him about when I first found out what Logan was doing. I told him how angry I got at Logan for doing it, how guilty I felt afterward for yelling at him, how Logan had promised me then that he didn't even like it and would never do it again, How I promised I wouldn't say a word about it to anyone, and how stupid and betrayed I felt when he came home high a month later.

I told him about when Logan changed. When he started snapping at people for no reason—my mom, James, Carlos, Gustavo, Kelly, he even snapped at Katie once. After that, Logan promised me again that he would stop.

And I believed him.

I told him about all the times Logan wouldn't show up to class and would skip rehearsals. I told him about all the time I would hold Logan's shaking frame in my arms late at night as I listened to him apologize and promise over and over that he would get better, and how every time he would run off again.

I told him about the last twenty-four hours we spent together and how much my heart broke to wake up the next morning and find him gone again. I had to pause to recompose myself, then with a shaky, monotone voice I told him about how everyone started to move and on—even Carlos who never gave up on Logan was progressing forward—and I how I felt like I was stuck in the same old place. Then Jo came and...here we were.

I let out another breath, feeling a little lighter now that I had finally voiced everything I had been feeling but holding in for years. I looked to David who was staring with a small frown at the wall. "That's..._really_ complicated." He said after a few beats of silence.

I chuckled. "You said you wanted to know."

"Yeah, I did." He nodded then let out a breath. "It's just a lot to take in, sir."

I nodded in understanding, letting the room go silent again as I let everything sink in as well. Telling the story had aroused emotions I had suppressed since I married Jo—the feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, but also the natural need to want to protect and help Logan. It felt as if the events from the past were repeating themselves just to mock me and make my life more hell than it already was. Suddenly Jo's words were echoing in my head.

"_People like Logan are unstable. You think he's going to change, but he'll go back on his word. He can't be trusted." _

Was I prepared to let Logan back into my life? What if Jo was right and Logan did go back on his word? Logan was my friend, I knew that, and every fiber of my being wanted to help him in every way I could, but...I wouldn't be able to take it if Logan broke his promise again. The last time left me feeling numb and useless, like I had failed in everything and there was no use in trying to do anything else. I didn't want to think about what it would do to me if it happened again. I had a family now. I had to be there for my kids.

"So..." David was finally looking at me with curious eyes. I noticed a faint smile that he was attempting to hide from me as he continued. "Logan is back in your life now...what does that mean?"

I could feel my heart ripping all over again and a hard lump growing in my throat. "It means...I have to let him go." I shrugged though the words were killing me inside.

David's eyes went wide. "What? You can't!"

I lifted a brow, confused by his outburst. "Why not?"

"Because he's your friend...you love him." My heart skipped a beat at his words, but I wasn't sure if it was in the good way. David continued, ignoring my wide eyes. "You can't just throw him out on the street."

"I'm not going to throw him out on the street, and what would it matter if I did?" I could feel the anger and betrayal surfacing once again. "He chose the streets over me anyway."

David's jaw went slack before he sobered up, giving me a look of disapproval. "Do you hear yourself? You sound just like your wife." I rolled my eyes at this. "I've watched you defend Logan for over a month. I saw how you reacted to seeing him again, and I even saw how you immediately knew how to comfort him and the way you cuddled on the couch. It was like second nature to you." I could feel my cheeks heating up from David's words, but I stood my ground. "Mr. Knight, I sat here and listened to you go on and on about Logan. When you talk about him you get this look in your eyes. It's sad, and it would be clear to anyone that you miss him, and not only that...you still love him."

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "David..." I didn't know what to say. Jo had said almost the same thing the first time I saw Logan on my way home that day. If it was that clear to David, maybe Jo sees it too. Suddenly her jealousy made sense. I couldn't imagine how hurt she gets seeing that the man she's married to is still in love with his ex boyfriend, and I knew that keeping Logan around would only hurt her more. "I'm married." I said quietly. "I can't have my ex hanging around my wife, my kids! I'm not going to put my kids in the middle of this."

"But-"

"You said so yourself. It's not a good idea, and it would upset Jo. I don't want to hurt her anymore."

"Hurt her? She's hurting you by controlling your emotions to get you to stay with her."

"Are you saying Jo _brainwashed _me or something?" My eyes narrowed incredulously.

"She must be." David's eyes narrowed at me as well. "You don't love her. You don't like her. You don't even want to be around her half of the time."

All true. "You don't know anything." I shook my head.

"I know you, and I have for seven years." David smirked. "It's my job to know you."

My frowned deepened and his smirk grew. He knew I didn't have a response because we both knew he was right. David picked up on my tones, expressions, and body language in order to make sure I was a happy boss. Usually, I felt the urge to give him raise for being so incredible, but now all I wanted to do was smack him.

After a long stare down between us, I sat back sighing but not yet admitting defeat. "What do you expect me to do?" I opened my arms, signaling that I was looking for a genius answer. "Leave Jo and my kids and risk my heart again only for him to leave and break it again?"

"You don't know if he'll do that."

"And you don't know that he won't."

David paused and I used that time of silence to try to relax myself. "...He won't if you help him."

"How can I help him?"

"He could go to rehab." David said hopefully.

"And pay for it with what? Rehabilitation clinics cost a fortune—a fortune that Logan doesn't have."

David paused, shifting in his seat slightly. "But _you_ do." He said, finally.

I blinked at the dark skinned boy, not sure if I heard correctly. "You expect me to put up the money for this place?" I asked.

"If you want him to get better...and you _do_." He added just as I opened my mouth.

"I..." He was right again. "I really have to think about that." I finally stood to leave. "We should get back to work."

David nodded, following me out of the room and back to my office. On the way there David started spewing all of the things on my to-do list for the day. I half listened to him as he told me about all the meetings I had to attend and all the calls I had to take since I pushed them all back to cuddle with Logan.

That comment earned him a glare.

We reached my office and I unlocked the door to step inside, only to be met with the sight of Logan sitting up on the couch, rubbing his eyes tiredly. I stopped, making David bump into my back and then look at me curiously. His eyes then landed on Logan who had finally looked up and noticed us. "Hey." He smiled at me.

"Hey." I breathed softly feeling like all the air in my lungs had been stolen just by the adorable sight of the brunet. I could feel my heart rate increasing from the crooked smile directed at me. I had to grip the door knob tighter to keep myself upright when I even felt my knees begin to buckle. "Uh...we'll be right back." I turned around, quickly rushing a protesting David out of the door and shutting it behind me. I leaned against it, letting out a calming breath, but it did nothing to slow the thump in my chest. "I need you to do something for me." I said to David. The young assistant nodded, immediately going into professional mode. "I need you to look up rehab centers."

David's face broke out into a grin that then lowered to a smirk. "You love him." He said simply.

I sighed letting my head falling back, thumping softly against the door. "I know."


	6. Chapter 6

It was easily the most fun I had ever had at work.

Even with the ton of meetings and phone calls I had that day, seeing Logan there in my office instantly put a smile on my face. We chatted mostly about my job when I wasn't busy, and Logan even helped me with some of my work which actually made David's job a lot easier—though I did get a curious glance and a smirk every time I told him that Logan had it taken care of. When I was busy, Logan would keep himself occupied with one of the books on my bookshelf and he even dozed off a couple of times.

I got more smirks from David every time he walked in and saw me staring at Logan as he read or slept. "Not a word." I would glare warningly at him.

He would then shrug, still smirking as he continued his work.

To be honest, I was thankful that Logan never asked to leave my office other than to go to the bathroom and that he didn't ask questions when I asked David to escort him there...twice as a precautionary measure. I didn't want people asking questions about who Logan was and what he was doing there. How was I supposed to explain it to people? With David it was easy. I could trust him not to tell anyone anything, but my colleagues loved to talk and they all knew Jo pretty well. Once Jo caught whiff of a strange man hanging around my job all day, she would demand answers.

Answers that I wasn't sure I was ready to give.

Jo hated the idea of me spending my entire day at work with David, if she found out I was locked in my office alone with Logan for half the day, she would blow a gasket. Letting Logan back into my life could be the very thing that pushed her over the edge—the moment that she packed up her stuff and left. Though that thought didn't bother me as much as the thought of her taking Kyle and Kayla with her. Jo could be mean, borderline evil sometimes, so I knew she wouldn't be above taking my kids away from me. I couldn't risk that, so I did my best to keep everything quiet.

I looked up when I saw Logan shifting in his sleep from the corner of my eye and could feel my lips curling upward in a small affectionate smile.

I would keep it quiet for as long as I could, at least.

The intercom on my phone beeped loudly, resounding in my otherwise quiet office. I quickly pressed the button to answer. "David, Logan is sleeping." I scolded in a harsh whisper.

I heard the boy snicker before answering. "Sorry, sir, but I have that information you asked for."

I sighed heavily, heaving myself out of my chair. "I'll be out in a second." David voiced his acknowledgment and we both hung up. I went over to Logan, kneeling down to his level to run my hand through his hair to get his attention. The brunet hummed sleepily at me. "Hey, Logie, I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay..." He whispered tiredly, eyes fluttering open to meet mine. Behind the tiredness was so much emotion that I nearly choked on air. Through that one look I could see that Logan missed me—missed this—just as much as I had. Any doubts I had before about how Logan felt about me instantly vanished. He still wanted me, and he still loved me. Before I knew what I was doing, I was leaning forward. Logan was staring up at me, wide-eyed as I paused just as our lips were a mere centimeter apart. Logan didn't make a move, always waiting for me to make the first move.

But I didn't.

I quickly pulled back, rising to my feet again and quickly walking out of the door.

I let out a calming breath but my cheeks remained heated and my pulse still thumped loudly in my ears. "Mr. Knight." I jumped, letting out a surprised yelp when David appeared beside me. The young man jumped as well but quickly recovered, laughing at my reaction. "Sorry." He chuckled at my glare then furrowed his brows at me, tilting his head. "You look all red. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I answered quickly, not wanting to share what happened in that office and knowing David was smart enough to guess for himself anyway. "What do you have for me?" I changed the subject in order to get David's suspicious gaze off me.

David pulled a few papers off of his clipboard, handing them to me. "I found a lot of places in the area. Some were more expensive than others, but after some research I narrowed it down to one I thought was perfect."

I looked at the papers in my hands. "Hope Point Recovery Center." I read the name thoughtfully.

"They have a ninety day program, but it's seven-thousand dollars a month."

My eyes widened and my head snapped up to meet David's eyes. "Seven-thousand?" I repeated.

"I know, but that's actually one of the cheapest, and it's better because this place is one of the best out there." David said quickly. I let out a long breath, briefly scanning over the information he had printed. "So?" He prodded when I didn't respond right away.

I shook my head, seven-thousand dollars still reeling in my head. "It's a lot of money, and Jo..."

David groaned. "Forget about Jo. This has nothing to do with her. Do it for Logan."

This time I groaned. "Damn it, David." He had found my weakness so fast and already knew how to use it against me. _Clever little shit. _"How do we do this?"

…

I didn't sneak Logan out of the building.

Sneaking would mean that we had to avoid people on our way out of the building and all the way to me car. No, I called Jo around the time I usually get off work to tell her that I was working late, but for lack of a better term, we were hiding out until everyone went home.

Again, Logan didn't question it.

When in the parking lot David shook Logan's hand telling him how nice it was to meet him, and Logan returned to sentiment. David then turned to me, whispering a quick "good luck" as he left. I nodded in appreciation. I would need all the luck I could get for this.

When Logan and I were in the car and driving, it was silent. I didn't know what to say once I was about to do this. Logan had asked for help. He said he want to get better, but I didn't know if he remembered that. He hadn't mentioned it again for the rest of the day. Then there was the almost kiss. We both wanted it, and we both knew it but I backed away. I did see Logan's face afterward, but I knew he had to be hurt by what happened.

"So..." Logan spoke up after minutes of silence. "Are you embarrassed of me?"

I blinked, eyes darting over to Logan who was fidgeting nervously in his seat. "What...where did that come from?"

"You made it kind of obvious that you didn't want anyone to know who I am." He said quietly. "You hid me in your office all day. You didn't even want me to go the the bathroom alone."

_Shit. _"Logie, it's not like that."

"Then what is it?" I knew his big brown eyes on me without even having to turn my head.

I let out a sigh, my grip on the steering wheel tightening slightly. "It's hard to explain. If people in the office found out you were there, they would have started talking and..." I trailed off with a sigh.

"And...you're embarrassed."

"No! I just told you I wasn't."

"Maybe not of me but of who you are." My forehead creased in confusion. "You're _gay_, Kendall." The brunet said bluntly, making me cringe. "Are you seriously hiding that from people?"

"I don't want to talk about this, Logan." I mumbled.

"You went right back into the closet!" He continued anyway. "You've been through the pain of keeping this in before, why would you put yourself through this again?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" I snapped, immediately regretting it when I glanced at Logan only to see him looking back at me with sad eyes, but I didn't say a word. I kept my tight grip on the wheel and tried to keep my eyes on the road, but they would still occasionally look to Logan.

He turned in his seat, facing forward once again, head dipped, and eyes downcast. "You've changed, Kendall." He whispered.

"Well...so have you." I sighed sadly, turning into the Hope Point Recovery parking lot. I watched Logan raise his head and his eyes widen in fear when he felt the car come to a stop. "Logan," He turned to me, body tense with nerves. "You said this is what you wanted." He only gulped in response and my eyes narrowed. "Tell me now if you don't plan on going through with this. I mean it, Logan. I'm risking a lot for you and I won't let you break your promise to me again."

I noticed his lip trembling and his eyes slowly moved back to the building. "K-Kendall, I don't know..."

"Figure it out!" I snapped again, making the shorter man jump. "I swear, Logan. I've given you so many chances before, and last chance I gave you...you blew it and I told you not to bother coming back." The tears that were gathering in his eyes had then fallen. Logan quickly turned away from me, wiping his eyes quickly, but I still didn't stop. "I don't know how you manage to affect me the way you do after so many years, but I promise this is the last chance I'm giving you." I almost wanted to take it back. When he looked up at me with those wide, scared, and tear-filled eyes, I swear all I wanted to do was take it back—give him a million chances to get better again.

But I didn't back down. I didn't show a hint of remorse, no matter how badly I wanted to. Once it registered in Logan's mind that I wasn't kidding and I wouldn't be taking it back, more tears fell from his eyes. "Kendall...I...y-you're serious?" His voiced cracked. "You'd just give up on me?"

My eyes softened at that. "I'm not giving up on you...but don't expect me to help you again. This is it."

I wasn't going to cry. I had to be strong, but seeing Logan begin to fidget again, tears streaming down his cheeks was bringing me closer and closer to my breaking point. I don't know how long we sat there—Logan probably trying to sort out his thoughts and me in the driver's seat having to restrain myself from leaning over and kissing away every tear that dared slip down his face and instead painfully listen to every sob his emitted. I blinked rapidly when I felt my eyes begin to burn with my own tears.

"...Okay..."

I looked over at the brunet, my eyes wide as well. "Okay?"

"I-I'll do it." He said shakily. "I meant what I said. I wanna get better and keep my promise."

I bit back a large smile and nodded. "Good." I climbed from the car and waited for Logan to do the same. My fingers twitched as we walked together and this time I didn't resist. I grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze as we walked up the steps of the building and through the front doors. Logan kept his head down the entire way to the front desk, noticeably scared beyond belief, and I didn't blame him.

I was scared too.

"Hi," I smiled at the woman, presumably a nurse at the desk.

"Hello." She smiled gently at me, eyes briefly moving to Logan who still refused to look up. "How may I help you?"

I squeezed Logan hand again making him look up at me. I smile encouragingly, but Logan didn't even attempt to smile back. His eyes were still scared, sad, and slightly hurt as he looked back at me. He then looked to the nurse. "I'm Logan Mitchell...and I would like to check in." He said said in a dull and quiet voice.

The woman smile at him, handing him a pen and sliding the clipboard over to him. "Please fill this out."

Logan nodded, dropping my hand to grab the items and going off to fill them out. I didn't follow, glancing behind me before turning back to the nurse. "Listen, that's my best friend. He's been my best friend since the third grade and I want to see him get better. Please, do everything you can for him."

The woman smiled gently at me. "We'll do everything we can."

My whole body was flooded with relief then. "Thank you." I breathed.

Logan then came back, handing everything back to the nurse who turned away from us. I let out a breath, turned back toward Logan who had decided he didn't want to look at me. "Logie..." I grabbed his hand again, but he still didn't look at me. "I know you might be angry with me for what I said in the car, but it was for your own good. _This _is for your own good."

"I know." He said quietly but still didn't look up.

"I just want to see you get better." I said softly.

"I know." He said again finally looking up at me with a watery smile. "I wanna see your face when I do."

I chuckled softly, feeling my heart swell happily at his use of the word _when_.

"Logan Mitchell."

We both turned to see another nurse motioning for Logan to follow her. Logan nodded then turned back to me when I gave his hand another squeeze. "Can I...?" He lifted his arms to me again. I laughed, nodded without hesitation. Logan immediately took his rightful place in my arms that wrapped tightly around him. "I promise not to disappoint you." He mumbled into my shirt. I only nodded, squeezing him tighter when it felt like he was moving away. He lifted his head from my shoulder, and before I could see it coming, Logan's lips were on mine.

I hadn't realized how much I missed Logan until that moment when his lips were once again sliding with mine. His arms traveled up and around my neck, and I held him, if possible, closer to me. Even after so many years apart, we easily fell into the same rhythm, moving perfectly in sync with each other. I could hear the voice in the back of my head screaming at me for letting this happen, for getting attached again. How could I walk away from him now?

When Logan and I finally separated, we let out a simultaneous sighs. "I love you." He said, biting his lip.

"I..." I shook my head sadly, letting my hands drop at my sides. "You should go."

The flash of disappointment didn't go unnoticed as Logan moved his arms from around my neck and turned to walk toward the nurse who guided him through the door that lead to the rest of the facility. It wasn't until I made it back to my car that I finally let my tears fall.

…

"Hi, Daddy!" Kyle and Kayla cheered happily when I walked through the door.

I entered the kitchen where they were both seated at the table, hard at work on their individual projects. "Hey, baby girl." I kissed Kayla's forehead. "Hey, bud." I said ruffling Kyles hair. He let out a sound of annoyance making me frown and squat down to his level. "What's up with you?" I said glancing at the scrambled numbers on the paper in front of him.

"Math is stupid." He grumbled.

I let out a chuckle at the sight of his bottom lip poking out. "It's not stupid. Math is important, and you'll use it everyday." I said, remembering that Logan had used those same words on me many times in my life which only made me miss him more. It had been a little over thirty days since I had dropped him off at that rehab center and I hadn't seen him since. I hadn't gone to visit him because I wasn't sure if I would be able to walk away again. I was in my car for at least an hour getting myself back together and trying to make myself presentable for my family the first time I had to.

Even though I couldn't bring myself to see him again, I called Hope Point everyday to check up on him. I didn't ask to talk to Logan, not wanting to distract him from anything, but the nurse I talked to assured me everyday that Logan was doing well. My heart broke to hear about how bad his first night was. There had been screaming and crying, and my guilt had been so unrelenting while listening to the nurse tell me of the events. She then took the time to comfort me, saying that it was normal for the first night and Logan would get better. This did comfort me a little, but I still felt guilt for it. It was my fault. I wish I could have been there.

The news had gotten better from there. Logan had started group therapy and personal therapy the next day. Unfortunately, the nurse—who I found out was named Tori—wasn't allowed to tell me about what he said during his sessions. She did tell me that Logan was at least making friends, so he wasn't alone. That made me feel a little better, though every once and a while Logan would still cross my mind an my guilt and longing would return.

I sighed, ruffling Kyle's hair again. "Just give it your best shot, bud. If you get a good grade, I'll take you skating."

Kyle's brown eyes lit up at this, an excited smile gracing his features. "Really?"

I chuckled, knowing that Kyle loved hockey just as much as I did. _Like father, like son, _I thought, my smile growing wider. "Of course, and we can even play a little hockey."

Kyle let out a cheer and went right back to work.

"Daddy, can I play hockey too?" Kayla spoke up, staring at me with her green eye wide and pleading.

"No, you're a girl. Girls don't play hockey." Kyle pointed out.

Kayla pointed. "Says who?"

"The president!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

I chuckled as the two started going back and forth. "Come on guys, focus on your work." I finally cut in, raising to my full height. "I'll take you both ice skating, but you have to get good grades."

"But I'm not in school." Kayla pouted again.

"Then you'll just have to eat all of your vegetables." I smirked at the look of disgust the spread across her face.

"Kendall," Jo's voice came from behind me. I could already tell from the tone in her voice that she wasn't happy, ad somehow I had managed to piss her off again. "Kyle, why don't you and Kayla finish your homework in your rooms?" I suggested. Kyle looked up at me with knowing eyes. It always surprised me how smart he was for a six year old. In a lot of ways, he reminded me of myself when I was little. I waited until Kyle had gathered his things and he and his sister ran upstairs before I turned around giving the blonde a tired look. "What now?"

Jo grabbed a piece of paper off the counter, waving it in front of me. "What is this?" I shrugged, making Jo's eyes narrow further. "It's a bill to you for _seven-thousand _dollars to be paid to Hope Point Recovery Center." She said in faux calmness.

"You opened my mail?" I glared at her, snatching the letter out of her hand.

"That's not the point!"

"No, but it's a felony!"

Jo rolled her eyes, ignoring me like she always did. "Kendall, I looked up this place on the internet. Why are you being billed for thirty days of rehab?"

I rolled my eyes this time throwing the letter on the counter. "It sounds like you already know." I turned back to face Jo with an look of indifference, making her eyes go cold ad her glare harden.

"Why?"

"Why _what_?"

"_Why _are you still trying to help him?" She yelled. "I thought we settled this."

"No, _you _yelled and I just agreed so that you would bitching about it." Jo gasped at me, but I didn't stop. "I let a lot of stuff go because you get upset over it, but Jo..._everything _upsets you. I can't avoid it, so I might as well do what I want." Jo opened her mouth to most likely deny what I said and continue yelling at me, but I held up a hand to stop her. "I'm not arguing about this. Logan is my friend and he needs my help. I don't know what he did to make you hate him so much, but you're just gonna have to get over it because I'm _not _backing down."

Jo was silent but her glare didn't soften. As I grabbed the letter from Hope Point and went to leave, Jo finally spoke. "He's trying to steal you from me."

I stopped in my tracks, turning to face her again. "What?"

"I turned my back once before and he crept in, convinced you that you were a fag, and stole you from me, and now he's trying to do it again. You just don't see it." Jo shrugged. "But fine, if what you want is to be used and to run off with that little slut, then do it." She walked to the front door, and opened it harshly, making the door hit the wall with a loud thud. Her hands rest on her hips and her glare was challenging. "Leave."

I didn't dare let my shock show on the outside at the action. My eyes shifted to the door then back to the door. "Daddy..." I looked up at the top of the stairs where Kayla was with Kyle trying to pull her back, but she pulled from his grasp ruing down the steps toward me. I leaned down, scooping the little girl up in my arms. "Don't go, daddy." She whimpered into my shoulder.

I felt tears building into my eyes, gently shushing her. "I'm not going anywhere, baby."

I glanced at Jo when I heard the door shut behind me. She was smirking as she walked passed me and I glared at her as she left.


	7. Chapter 7

I let out a calming breath and I looked up at the front door of the restaurant as the bell sounded. Carlos walked through, looking around before he spotted me. He smiled brightly, making me smile as well and stand to give him a hug. "Hey, dude, it's been a while since I've seen you in person." He joked. I laughed as he began to poke me.

"I know. This is long overdue." I sat once again.

"So, what's up?" The Latino lifted the menu, looking at the items curiously. "You just called me out of the blue and you want to hang out?"

I shrugged, playing with my hands. "I'm not allowed to do that anymore?" I chuckled nervously. "Like you said, we haven't talked face to face in a while and..."

We both looked up when the bell over the restaurant door sounded again. I bit my lip when I saw it was James walking through. "What is he doing here?" Carlos whispered to me, a small glare on his face.

I chuckled, rubbing the back on my neck. "It's a public restaurant, you know. He could just be..."

"Hey, Kendall." James called when he finally saw me. Carlos' glare hardened and I smiled sheepishly.

"Good to see you." I said as I stood to hug him.

James then glanced down and saw Carlos sitting at the table, glaring down at the menu. He sighed heavily, sending a small glare my way. I glared back, mouthing "talk to him." James then mouthed back "no." We went through a whole argument in barely audible but still harsh whispers in a short amount of time before James finally gave in and sat down next to Carlos. The Latino slid his chair away from the brunet in response.

James gave me a look and to which I still urged him to still try to talk. We sat in a slightly awkward silence, waiting for someone to say something. I was hoping that James or Carlos would make the first move, but they didn't seem to want to. Why did they both have to be so fucking stubborn? "So..." I finally spoke, making James and Carlos look up at me. "What have you two been up to?"

James shrugged. "I, uh, got a guest appearance on New Town High: The New Generation as a substitute teacher."

"That's great, James." I smiled then turned to Carlos who was staring quietly at the menu. "Isn't that great, Carlos?"

Carlos glanced up at me, making a noise of disinterest that James frowned at. "It's okay."

The pretty boy across from me rolled his eyes, dropping the menu back on the table. "Kendall, I'm not gonna stay here if he's gonna be a jerk." He stated.

That caught Carlos' attention. "_I'm _the jerk?" He looked astonishingly at our taller friend. "You're the jerk. You have been since-"

"Don't go there, Carlos." James scowled at the tan boy.

"Guys, you're making a scene." I warned, looking at the people who had turned to see what the commotion was. James and Carlos sighed, looking back to their menus and ignoring each other. I let out a breath when the eyes left our table. "That's actually why I wanted to talk to you guys." I said softly. They looked up at me with curiosity. "You know how recently I've been thinking about Logan?" Carlos nodded with interest, and while James' expression seemed to go a bit cold, he still nodded. "Well..." I took in a breath, preparing myself for their two most likely different reactions. "I found him."

My eyes darted from one face to the next, seeing that they were both shocked and a little hesitant. "You found him?" Carlos spoke first.

"Yeah, I found him a while ago actually." I spoke cautiously. "That's why Jo and I were fighting."

Carlos' jaw unhinged and James' eyes narrowed further. "You knew where Logan was way back then, and you didn't think to tell us?" The brunet asked sharply.

Carlos shot a glare to the man beside him. "Why do you even care?"

"He's just as much my friend as he is yours, Carlos."

"You don't act like it!"

"Guys!" I got their attention again. "This is why I didn't tell you. You were just gonna fight about it like you fight about everything else."

James rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair with a stubborn glare. Carlos rolled his eyes at James but from the attitude the taller man was giving. "So, why tell us now?"

"And why not separately?" James added bitterly.

I sighed, asking myself that same question. "I didn't want to tell you guys before because when I saw Logan, he didn't look any better." I said sadly, remembering Logan's condition before. It was the last image I had of Logan, and it was killing me not being able to see him, but my fear of how I would feel when I saw him again out-weighed my desire for his presence.

Carlos' eyes turned sad, sitting back in his chair, and shoulders slumped with defeat. Even James looked slightly disappointed, though he tried to cover it up with a look of disinterest. "But he is now." I added, smiling when Carlos perked up and James' eyes widened.

"He is?" They asked together, and this time didn't attack each other for their reaction.

"Yeah." My smile widened. "He checked himself into rehab and now he's thirty-five days sober."

Carlos grinned excitedly and I was happy to see that James couldn't even resist his lips twitching upwards at the news. "How do you know all this?" James asked.

"I convinced him to check in and I'm sort of paying for it." I mumbled feeling my cheeks heat up at their smirks and tried to down play my protective nature with a nonchalant shrug. "I've called a few times to make sure he's doing okay."

The men across from me exchanged knowing glances, then Carlos spoke. "In other words..."

"You call everyday." James finished.

I would have smiled and enjoyed the rare moment of them getting along if it weren't for the fact that they were mocking me—and that they were right. Instead I pouted, sliding down in my chair.

The pair laughed. "You so do." Carlos said.

"Ten years later, and you've still got it bad, dude." James teased.

"Shut up." I grumbled, feeling my face grow hotter. "This isn't why I called you here." I whined with annoyance when they only continued to laugh. Once the two _jerks _sobered up, I continued. "I called you because Logan's therapist thinks it would be good for some of his close friends to visit him and offer their support." Carlos and James sat silently. "I would have gone alone, but I thought it would be good for all of us to go."

James and Carlos once again exchanged looks. "I don't know..." They said simultaneously.

"Come on, you haven't seen Logan in seven years. I know you both miss him, even you James." I said, giving James a pointed look that he averted his eyes from. "And I bet Logan misses you too. He would love seeing you guys." When they still hesitated, I added, "We all used to be friends, and it would break Logan's heart to know that you guys were letting him come in between what used to be such a strong bond."

Clearly, I wasn't as good at tapping into people's weaknesses and guilt and using them against people as David was, but it was still worth a shot. I waited, watching the wheels turning in their heads. "I'll go." Carlos said first. "I miss my buddy." I let out the breath I was holding and smiled in with appreciation.

We both turned to James who still seemed to be debating it. He looked at both us before, wrinkling his nose, clearly feeling the pressure of our gazes. "Fine." He finally broke with a heavy sigh.

Carlos cheered and for the first time in years, he threw his arms around the taller man in a tight hug, surprising me and James. "This will be good for all of us, James." I said when I saw that James still looked uneasy.

James sighed. "I guess so."

…

"Kendall!" Tori greeted me with a big smile as James, Carlos, and I were guided behind the double doors.

"Hey, Tori." I gave the young woman a hug ignoring the smirks from James and Carlos because I had given them further proof of how often I check on Logan by knowing his nurse by name.

"I was starting to worry that you wouldn't come." I could see the relief wash over her face. "Who's this?" She pointed behind me to James and Carlos, giving them a friendly wave.

"Tori, these are really close friends of mine and Logan. We've all known each other since the third grade."

"I'm Carlos." Carlos nodded to her.

"I'm James." I rolled my eyes at James' use of his deep flirty voice.

To my surprise, Tori's smile didn't falter or shift in the slightest. "I have a boyfriend." She replied smoothly. Carlos and I chuckled. "It was very sweet of you all to come. I know Logan would love seeing you." She gushed, motioning for us to follow her to the visiting area.

"Does he know we're coming?"

"No, I didn't think you'd want me to tell him just in case you had to cancel for something work related or for other personal reasons." She glanced at me with knowing eyes, making me feel a pang of guilt from the cowardice vibes I put out. The young nurse gestured for us to sit on a couch then placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "But I knew you would." She smiled softly. I returned the smile although a bit nervously. "If you guys are ready I'll go get Logan." When we all nodded Tori disappeared out of the doors.

We all let out nervous breaths, glancing at each other. "I wasn't even this nervous for our first concert." James mumbled, rubbing his hands together worriedly.

"I think it's more anxiety." Carlos pointed out. "We haven't seen Logan in a while and...we don't really know what to expect."

"Tori did say that he was doing better." I sighed, though feeling just as much anxiety as my friends. "He'll probably-"

I didn't get to finish my thought before the doors opened again. The three of us stood wordlessly as Tori stepped through the doors. She grinned at us then motioned behind her. My heart was beating hard in my chest when Logan slowly came through the doors. I swallowed nervously when his eyes finally fell on us, but he didn't move. Tori whispered something to him, rubbing his back comfortingly. I felt myself relax slightly when Logan finally started moving to us. "Hey, guys." He said softly.

James and Carlos didn't move so I went first. "Hey, Logie." I put on a smile, pulling the brunet into a hug. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and I drew circles in his back to relax his tense body. "It's okay, Logie." I whispered in his ear in what I hoped was a soothing tone. "They're not mad. They just want to see you."

Logan nodded into my chest, hesitantly letting go of me and turning toward James and Carlos. "Hey, Logan." Carlos said softly. "You look good." He added with a large smile.

"I don't know, Carlos. I think it's time for a haircut, dude." James teased, reaching over to ruffle Logan's long hair with a good-natured smile.

Logan laughed, making me smile at the beautiful sound. "I really missed you guys." Logan smiled at the two.

"We missed you too." Carlos wrapped his arms tightly around the brunet. "Things just weren't the same without you."

"I know, and I'm sorry." Logan pulled away with tears in his eyes. "I know that probably doesn't make up for everything I put you through, but you have to know that there's _nothing_ I care about more than you guys."

"W-we know, Logan." James spoke up. "I'll admit it was tough for a while after you left, but...we're not upset anymore. We're just glad you're getting help."

I watched Logan move to embrace James with a smile on my face. I could finally feel the tension in the air lifting and it finally felt like old times again when we sat down and started talking. Logan told us all about the program and how much it was helping him. He told us about a typical day at the center, all the friends he had made, and how much having a friendly face helps them through the process.

We all told him how proud we were of him for making it this far. As James and Carlos moved to leave, they promised to visit more to show their support and catch up. "Of course, we may not be here as much as Kendall." Carlos joked, nudging me in the side with his elbow.

Logan let out a soft chuckle as well, casting a glance my way, making me look down. "Thanks. It means a lot that you came." He hugged both of them again and waved as they walked out the doors.

The brunet slowly took a seat beside me, biting his lip softly. "Don't you have to go too?" He asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I took the day off."

He raised his brow at me. "The _whole _day?" I nodded. "Won't Jo hate that?"

"Most likely." I rolled my eyes then smiled. "I'm trying to do more things for myself though."

Logan grinned at me. "I'm glad. You seem happier now."

"I am." I smiled softly at him and chuckled when a blush covered the brunet's cheeks.

"So..." Logan was chewing on his lip once again. "You took the _whole _day off?" He asked again. My brows furrowed as I nodded. "Do you think that you would maybe want to come to my therapy session with me?"

My eyes widened and I sat up a little straighter from the surprise of that question. "You're serious?" He nodded slowly. "Aren't those things, like, private? Are you sure you want me there?"

"I trust you, Kendall."

I felt my heart fluttering at the words as they came from the brunet's lips. I unconsciously licked my lips and moved toward the pair in front of me, but I found that they were moving away. I looked up the the brunet's eyes that were wide with shock. "What-"

"Don't." He said, moving away from me.

"Don't?" I sat up, looking confusedly at him. "But right before you left we..."

"That was wrong." Logan sighed. "Look, Kendall. Despite how I feel about you, you're married and you have a family. Kissing you before wasn't right, and now I know that." I wanted to say something. My mouth was open to speak, but no words were coming out. "Even if you did still have feelings for me, nothing could happen as long as you're with Jo." I sighed, allowing my shoulders to slump slightly. There was silence between us for a minute before Logan spoke again. "I still want you to go to my session with me."

I glanced at him, feeling shock take over me again. "You're sure?"

He nodded, giving a smile as he stood, offering his hand to me. I took it as I stood, letting Logan guide me out of the room.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm really glad you came today, Kendall. It's means so much to Logan." Tori said as she walked me to the front door. I nodded, still slightly overwhelmed from the therapy session. I understood why Tori wasn't allowed to tell me what Logan said in those sessions. Everything he was feeling came out into the open there and it's a time when he is very vulnerable. He talked about how he was feeling that day, how he was feeling during group sessions, how he felt about making it to thirty days, and if he felt like would make it to the end of program.

"Most of all, I'm scared." He had said. "I'm scared of what will happen in the future. Everyday is a battle and there's always a chance I may fall back into my old habits. I just hope someone will always be there to support me, but I don't think it's likely."

Hearing that, I instantly felt like a jackass. The first day Logan spent in this place, I told him that I wouldn't be there for him if he messed up again. I wanted to speak up then and tell him it wasn't true, and that I will always be there to support him, but I didn't.

"I hope you understand what a big deal it was for Logan to want to share that experience with you. He must really care about you." The young nurse smiled at me.

"I care about him too."

"I know," Tori's grinned widened. "I could tell that too. You guys got this look every time you looked at each other and I can hear it in your voice when you call..."

I gave a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck with a sigh. "I should go. I have to pick up my kids and if I'm late my wife will rip me a new one."

Tori raised a brow at me before letting out a laugh. "Okay." She continued to giggle, making my forehead crease with confusion. "It was nice finally seeing you in person, Kendall." She reached out and shook my hand. "And again, thank you for coming. It really made Logan's day."

"No problem."

"I hope to see you again soon." Tori continued to smile a that looked as though she knew something I didn't. I just nodded before turning around and heading to my car.

Throughout Logan's next thirty days, I actually did visit a lot more often just as Carlos, James, and Tori had predicted. I went alone a few times when I had a break from work. To be more realistic, it happened so often that when I told David I was going on my lunch break, he smirked at me and said, "I don't think _that _is a proper lunch, Mr. Knight." I promptly sent him on the hunt for a file that probably doesn't exist since I made it up just to wipe the look off his face.

The times that I didn't go alone, I usually went with James or Carlos and sometimes both of them would show up. One day on a solo visit I was surprised to hear that James and Carlos had come to visit Logan together and they were actually getting along.

Another time I called up Katie when I heard she was in town and invited her to go with me to visit. When mom heard of our plans she insisted that we call Mrs. Mitchell and we all visit. I was a bit reluctant, not wanting Logan to feel overwhelmed at having to deal with seeing his mother, Katie, and my mother at once. He barely wanted to walk across the room to see his three best friends since third grade the first time.

After a bit of explaining to my mother and Mrs. Mitchell—which was a lot more apologizing for keeping her from Logan than explaining—I finally convinced them to wait to see Logan, and for now I would just bring Katie. Logan was very happy to see Katie again. He couldn't believe how much she had grown up. Katie tried to play it cool, but I could tell she was excited to see Logan again and doing so well. She sincerely offered her support for Logan, making the brunet grin widely which in turn made me smile.

I then had the idea for Gustavo and Kelly to visit Logan. Gustavo flat out refused when I called, saying he had a lot of work to do and didn't have time to visit. Even after arguing with Kelly, he still wouldn't budge. I could imagine Kelly rolling her eyes at him as she promised that she would be there before we hung up. About an hour later, David's voice came in on my intercom. "Mr. Knight, there is a Gustavo Rocque _demanding _to talk to you."

I chuckled at the annoyed tone in David's voice. "Thank you, David." When he patched me through, there was silence. "Gustavo?" I questioned, wondering if the line had gone dead.

After a few more beats of silence, Gustavo's voice boomed. "Dog!"

I chuckled again. "Gustavo, can't you call me Kendall now?"

"_No. _I was just..." He paused, voice going softer than I had ever heard it, making me sit up and stare at the phone in deep interest. "...is he doing okay?"

I smiled softly at the genuine concern coating the usually angry man's voice. "He's doing great, Gustavo. He's fifty days sober now."

Another pause. "Good." Was all he said, but I knew he was relieved.

"I know that you're busy and everything, Gustavo, but I know Logan would really love it if you came to see him." I tried again.

"I'll think about it. Goodbye."

I chuckled at my former boss and ended the call, turning toward the door when I heard it shut. "He's so obnoxious." David rolled his eyes irritably. "How did you work for him?"

I smirked at the young man. "How do you work for me?"

"Lots of patience and asprin."

When Kelly came to visit, she was unfortunately alone. I was really hoping for Gustavo to come through, but Kelly assured me that Gustavo really did try to move things around so he could come too, but some things couldn't be pushed back. He did send his love. At my brow quirking, Kelly elaborated. "He didn't exactly use those words, he actually said 'tell the smart dog I said hi' but in Gustavo's language it means pretty much the same thing."

When we saw Logan, he was touched to find out that Gustavo at least tried to come see him and that he had said I love you in his own odd, slightly cold and angry language.

I eventually wasn't able to hold my mom and Mrs. Mitchell back any longer. They had called practically demanding that I take them to see Logan. I was still hesitant to do it because I wasn't sure if Logan would be ready to face them but I agreed. Tori tried to calm me down, saying that this reunion would be beneficial to Logan and that I couldn't keep being so over-protective or he wouldn't be able to progress. With a heavy sigh, I asked her to set it up and this time to tell Logan, hoping that he wouldn't be afraid to see them if he had some warning.

The next day Tori called and told me that Logan freaked out at first, demanding that she call me and tell me to call the whole thing off. After a while she managed to calm him down and convinced him to go through with the visit, but he was still scared. Then Tori had to convince me to still go through with it because after hearing that, I was ready to call it all off again.

I didn't like it when my Logie was scared.

But I still went through with it. Logan came into the designated visitor's area wearing a nervous smile. He didn't have the problem of Tori having to nudge him over this time because he had barely taken a step before his mom came rushing over to him, engulfing him into a hug. "Hortense, my baby." She cried into the brunet's shoulder. She briefly pulled away, cupping Logan's face in both of her hands. "Are you okay? Are they treating you alright?"

"I'm fine, mom. I'm fine." Logan nodded with a watery smile. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, sweetheart." Mrs. Mitchell said, pulling him into another hug.

My mom was next, having pretty much the same reaction as Mrs. Mitchell. They spent almost a full hour just hugging Logan and telling him how happy they were to see him again and that he was getting help for himself. They were so relieved to see him again, Tori and I had trouble getting them to leave, but they eventually did with the promise of coming to see him everyday.

I was so glad that Logan was able to reconnect with all of our friends and family again. It really helped him through his recovery when he knew that when he left that place, he could go back to his normal life and no one would treat him any differently, but there was just one more visit I had planned.

I let out a nervous breath as I approached the front office of the local elementary school. "Hey, Melly." I smiled at the receptionist that I had seen a million times before.

She smiled up at me. "Mr. Knight, you're here early."

I shrugged. "I kinda wanna do something special with the kids today." She raised a slightly disapproving brow at me that I smiled sheepishly at, knowing how the school frowned upon taking your kids out of school for anything fun. At least that's how I always described it. "Family things." I added.

Melly nodded though she gave me a knowing side glance and I just chuckled. "Ms. Tate, can you please send Kyle Knight to the front office to sign out, and tell him to go get his sister from the pre-k room."

When my kids were ready and safely buckled into their seats I headed off down the road. "Daddy, where are we going?" Kayla asked from the backseat.

I glanced at her through the rear view mirror, smiling at her innocent expression. "We're going to see someone special today."

Kayla gasped excitedly. "Is it Santa?"

Kyle rolled his eyes at her but I only chuckled. "No, not Santa, baby."

The blond little girl gave a small pout, but didn't say anything else. Finally we pulled into the parking lot of Hope Point. With a nervous sigh, I shut off the car and helped the kids out of their seats. "Daddy, what's this place?" Kayla asked curiously as we entered.

"This is a hospital." I explained shortly, not really sure how to explain this to a three year old. I walked up the the front desk where Tori was waiting. She look at me with wide eyes, not knowing that I planned to bring my kids with me today. "Hey, Tori."

"Hey." She was still in shock, but smiled anyway. "These are your kids?"

"Yeah, this is Kyle and Kayla." I patted the top of their heads affectionately. "I thought it was time for the most important people in my life to finally meet."

Tori grinned at me before pulling out her clipboard to check Logan's schedule. "Logan should be on break right now, so he's probably reading in his room." She looked back up with a shrug and a small but amused smile. "I'll go get him and you can go back to the visiting area; I'm sure you know where it is." She laughed before standing to leave.

I rolled my eyes but still smiled as I lead my children to the visitors' area. Kayla immediately found some toys nearby to play with and Kyle sat on the couch next to me. "You don't want to play with your sister?" I asked with concern.

Kyle just silently shook his head.

I placed a hand on the six year old's shoulder to catch his attention. "What's wrong, buddy?"

He hesitated before letting out a breath. "This is gonna make mommy mad." He said quietly. "She doesn't like it when you take us out of school early. You're gonna fight."

I resisted the urge to once again point out how much Jo doesn't like anything I do. It was a waste of energy. It would actually be easier to tell people what I do that doesn't upset Jo, but I wasn't about to bad mouth my wife in front of my son. I let out a breath, hugging him close. "Sometimes that's something we can't avoid."

"Are you gonna get a divorce?"

I tensed, glancing down at the blond mop-top of my son. "Kyle...do you know what a divorce is?"

"It's when a mommy and a daddy decide they don't wanna be married, but it isn't a kid's fault." I had to admit I was impressed by that answer. "My friend Randa told me."

I nodded again, biting my lip worriedly. "Would it upset you if we got a divorce?" I asked carefully.

Kyle was quiet for a moment. "Randa says her mom and dad are happier now. They don't fight anymore, and she still sees her daddy." Kyle moved his head to look up at me. "I would still see you, right?"

"Of course. I love you guys too much to never see you." I kissed his head, shaking him slightly, making Kyle laugh.

I was so focused on making Kyle laugh that I didn't hear the door open and footsteps approaching us. "Kendall?"

I looked up, smiling at Logan who was standing over me nervously. "Hey, Logie." I chuckled, trying to make light of the situation that had my heart trying to beat out of my chest and Logan's nervous fidgeting to appear once again. "Nice hair." I commented.

Logan chuckled lightly, running his hand through his once again short and spiked hair. "Tori took me out to celebrate sixty days and demanded that I get a hair cut."

I chuckled, standing up and resting my hands on his shoulders. "Relax, it's okay." I smiled softly. "You shared something personal with me to show how much you cared, and now I wanted to do the same." Logan nodded shyly, letting me guide him over to where Kyle and Kayla was sitting. "Guys, I want you to meet someone." The two blond children looked up and I felt Logan tense. I rubbed his shoulders in hopes to relax him. "This is my best friend Logan." I introduced, pulling him down on the couch beside me.

Kayla looked up from the toys, and ran over to Logan. She immediately climbed into his lap. Shocking Logan, but it didn't at all surprise me. Kayla wasn't a shy girl, and she always preferred sitting in a lap than a chair. "Hi, I'm Kayla Grace Knight and I'm this many!" She grinned, holding up three of her little fingers to Logan.

Logan and I chuckled. "Well, hello Kayla Grace Knight. I'm Logan Mitchell." He held out his hand for her to shake and she did, though using the completely wrong hand.

"How old are you?" She asked curiously.

"I'm twenty-six."

Kayla's green eyes widened in genuine astonishment. "Wow."

Logan and I once again laughed at the little girl's adorableness. I turned to Kyle who was still at my side but hadn't said a word. I thought maybe it was because _he _was the shy one. "Kyle, why don't you say hi?"

He turned to look at Logan but was sure to stay close to me. "Hi." He said quietly.

Logan smiled gently at him. "Hi, Kyle. I've heard a lot about you."

Kyle just nodded and turned away. Logan looked to me with a sad smile and a shrug. "You know, Kyle...Logan used to play hockey with me."

Kyle looked up then. "Really?"

"Yep, I played right wing."

"Were you good?"

Logan shrugged. "I was alright."

I looked at the brunet like he was nuts. "Logan, you were awesome!" He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, making me laugh more. "Kyle, you should have seen the way Logan played. He's even beaten me a few times in one on one games."

Kyle then looked impressed. "_You _beat _my dad _at hockey?"

"I'm pretty sure he let me win a couple of times." He shot me a smirk, instantly reminding me of the times I indeed let Logan win so that I could be the loser that kissed the winner.

And to see the smile on his face.

"Like you didn't love it when I let you win." I smirked as well when the blush on Logan's cheeks darkened.

"Do you still play hockey?" Kayla spoke up.

"I haven't played in years." Logan shook his head.

"You can play with us!" Kyle suggested excitedly.

"Yeah, daddy takes us to the ice rink when we do good in school." Kayla bounced in Logan's lap excitedly then turned to me with wide and pleading eyes. "Can Logan come skating with us, daddy? Please?" She poked out her bottom lip.

"Yeah, please." Kyle was looking at me with his version of the Knight puppy-dog pout as well.

Logan and I chuckled at the two. "Well, maybe one day if Logan isn't busy, we can all hang out."

Kayla clapped and cheered. "Like a family."

I took a glance at Logan, only to see his cheeks flushing more and a small smile playing at his lips. I chuckled lightly, feeling heat rushing to my own cheeks.

We spent a few more hours at Hope Point. Kyle managed to open up more to Logan, sharing that he wanted to be a hockey player but how Jo doesn't like the idea and wants him to do something else like being a doctor. Logan then explained to Kyle how cool it would be to be a doctor but also how hard he would have to work at it. When Logan was finished, Kyle didn't know which he wanted to be more—a doctor or a hockey player. Logan got really close to Kayla and she loved him too. They played games together and she told him how she wanted to be a princess when she grew up and she wanted Logan to be her prince. Logan responded with a chuckle, saying he would be honored.

By the time we had to leave, Kyle was saying he was gonna be a hockey playing doctor and Kayla was begging to stay with Logan. When she finally accepted that she wouldn't be able to stay, she gave Logan a tight hug. "Will you be my best friend, Logan?" She asked cutely.

Logan looked touched. "Of course I will." He hugged her back.

"Hey, he was my best friend first." I faked pouted.

"Too bad." Kayla stuck her tongue out at me, making Logan laugh.

"Hey, now. I can have two best friends." He chuckled.

Kayla winkled her nose in thought then smiled. "Okay." She leaned in, kissing Logan's cheek. "Bye, Logan." She waved as Logan set her on the ground and she took my hand.

I gave Logan a wave as well as I walked off. It was a chatty ride home, making me smile happily that they loved Logan so much even after just a short time and that Logan loved them too. When I pulled up to the house, I let out a sigh when I saw Jo's car in a driveway. "Alright guys, when you get inside you have to go straight to your rooms and do your homework."

The two let out twin groans of protest that tapered off to reluctant sighs when they caught sight of my look that told them this wasn't up for discussion. I unlocked the door and I was glad when Kyle grabbed Kayla's hand and pulled her upstairs. Just as I predicted, Jo was sitting on the couch with a hard glare, waiting for me.

"You checked them out of school early?" She asked immediately.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Hello, Jo. My day was great, thanks for asking."

"Kendall Knight, I am _not _in the mood for you to be a smart ass. I've had a hard day-"

"Right because running around with your friends, spending the money _I _earn to support my family must take so much energy."

"Please!" Jo rolled her eyes this time. "Like you work anymore. Don't think I don't know that you go to that stupid rehab center to visit your little faggy ex-boyfriend!"

I glared at the blonde woman, feeling anger bubbling up. "Do _not _talk about Logan that way."

"That's what he is, Kendall." She continued. "He's a fag and he's a slut for trying to turn you into one too. And what's worse, you brought my kids around that crackhead!" I bit my lip, trying to control myself because my kids were just upstairs and they would surely hear any harsh words I threw at Jo. I looked back at Jo when she let out a sigh. "It's fine, though. I took care of it when I got home."

I stared quizzically at her. "Took care of it?"

"I called Hope Point today and told them that you would no longer be paying for Logan's rehab."

I blinked. "You _what_?"

"You've gotta kick this habit of helping him, Kendall, or he's gonna keep using you."

"Jo..." I once again bit my tongue. "You had no right to do that."

"I'm helping you!"

"You're being a jealous bitch!" I let that small bit slip but I couldn't control it. Jo was out of control and I wasn't going to take it. "You're not trying to help me, you're trying to bring me down because you can't let go of a teenage crush. I'm not happy, Jo. If you wanna help me, then help me be happy. Stop making my life so damn miserable all the time!"

She placed her hands on her hips, stature challenging. I crossed my arms, not feeling the least bit threatened. "You have two choices: we can end this fight and you can continue living your normal life, or you can get out and run off with Logan."

We spent several minutes just staring each other down, waiting for the other to cave, but neither of us moved. I finally sighed, dropping my arms at my sides. "Fine."

…

"Ninety days!" I heard Tori's excited voice around the corner. "How does it feel?"

"I'm...nervous..."

"Don't be because there's a surprise for you in the lobby."

"What kind of..." Logan trailed off when Tori gestured to me sitting there in the lobby waiting. "Kendall." He sounded surprised to see me.

"Hey, Logie." I stood up pulling him into a tight hug. "You didn't think I'd miss your big day, did you?"

Logan laughed. "I was hoping you wouldn't, but..." He pulled away from me, looking nervous. "James and Carlos told me about Jo, and I haven't seen you for a whole month. I thought-"

"Let's not talk about Jo right now." I stopped him. I took his bag off his shoulder with a smile. "Let's go."

The brunet's head tilted in confusion, making me laugh and Logan to immediately straighten up in embarrassment. "Go where?"

"It's a surprise." I smirked. "It was nice meeting you, Tori."

Tori waved happily back at us as we walked out to my car. We spent the car ride in silence but it wasn't awkward. Logan kept glancing at my smirk curiously which only made me smile wider. Finally, I pulled into the parking lot of an apartment complex, instructing Logan to come with me. Everything was still silent as we walked in and took the elevator to the third floor. It wasn't until I unlocked the door to reveal a fully furnished apartment that Logan spoke.

"Kendall...what is this?"

"It's the apartment I've been living in...since I left Jo."

Logan turned to me with wide eyes. "What?"

I sighed but smiled, feeling like a weight had been lifted off me. "I left Jo."

"Kendall..." Logan paused, swallowing nervously. "This isn't about what I said, is it? I didn't want you to leave Jo just so you can be with me. That's not the kind of person I am and...what about your kids?"

Seeing that Logan had gone into one of his panicky ramblings, blaming himself for everything, and working himself up over nothing, I pulled his body to mine and pressing our lips together. The brunet tensed at first but I felt him slowly relaxing in my arms before tentatively moving his lips with mine. When we finally parted, I smiled down at Logan, feeling my heart flutter at the sight of the brown eyes staring up at me lovingly. "This has been a long time coming, Logie. After what happened, I tried to move on, but I couldn't. It's always been you."

And the brilliant smile I got in return was something I knew I wanted to see everyday. When his lips were pressed to mine again, I wasn't sure how I had gone so long without it. How had I managed to fight my feelings for so long? Never again. There was no denying this—the way my heart would beat faster in my chest, the way my body instantly responded to every touch and look...there was no denying Logan because I would never get enough.


	9. Chapter 9

"Logie?" I wandered into the apartment after work in search of my brunet boyfriend. I grinned widely, just thinking that I once again got to call him my boyfriend made my heart flutter wildly in my chest. I continued to walk around the apartment, into the living room to find Logan lying casually on the couch, book covering his face. "Hey, you." I leaned over, moving the book from view, and pressing a kiss to his lips. Logan gave a small, surprised moan—book falling to the floor, forgotten—as I climbed on top of him, slowly deepening it.

He gave a chuckle, pulling back from the embrace with flushed cheeks, making me smirk down at him. "Someone had a good day." He mused.

"No, actually, it sucked, but seeing you makes it all better." I finished with a smile.

"Aw, what happened?"

I gave a heavy sigh, climbing off the shorter man and slumping into the couch. Logan sat up, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder in a silent urge to continue. "My lawyer met with Jo's lawyer today to talk about the divorce." I paused and Logan sat quietly, waiting for me to continue. I took a deep breath, preparing to talk around the rapidly growing lump in my throat. "I thought she would be satisfied, you know? I'm letting her keep the house and the car _I _bought her, but she's just comes up with new ways to make my life hell everyday."

"I'm so sorry, Kendall." Logan immediately wrapped his arms around me, kissing my cheek lovingly. We were silent for a minute before he spoke up again. "What else does she want?" He asked quietly.

I paused, feeling myself get choked up all over again thinking back on the conversation I had on the phone today. "She's asking for full custody."

Logan sat up, staring wide-eyed at me. "What?" I just nodded, unable to speak. "Why would she do that?"

"Because she's evil!" I exclaimed, pushing myself off the couch and running my hands through my hair out of habit and from stress.

"Come on, Kendall. Jo isn't evil." The dark-haired boy tried to reason. "I'm sure she has a reason for this."

"Yeah, she's evil!" I said again, beginning to pace. "She just doesn't want me to have the kids because she knows this would make me happy and she can't stand to see that."

"I think you're over-reacting..."

"Logan, she's mad. She's mad that I never loved her, and most importantly, that I left her for you." I let out another heavy sigh, falling into the couch. "Now, she wants me to suffer for it."

Logan was quiet. I couldn't see his expression with his back turned to me, but I could tell he was thinking. I could practically hear the metaphoric wheels turning in his head as he did so. "Did your lawyer tell you what chances you have of getting them?" He asked quietly.

I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples as I felt my heart begin to beat in my ears. "She says that right now we have a pretty good chance, but Jo's lawyer is going to do all the digging she can to make me look like an unfit parent. I should let her know anything that could hinder our case; other than that, I have to wait."

I looked up when a weight was lifted from the couch. Logan was walking away towards the bedroom. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked with concern.

Logan glanced at me with guilt stricken eyes, making me confused. "Nothing." He looked away quickly, fiddling with his hands. "I'm gonna go lie down." He said, walking away quickly before I could say anything else.

…

"Logie..." I knocked gently on the bedroom door. Logan had yet to come out of the room since earlier that afternoon. I decided to give him his space, not wanting to upset him any, but when eight o'clock hit, I couldn't hold back any longer. I opened the door, raising a brow at the sight of Logan lying in bed, staring blankly at the wall. I walked further in, sliding into the bed beside him. I let a smile come to my face when Logan immediately snuggled up beside me. "Hey."

He looked up at me with those brown eyes I loved so much and a small smile on his face. "Hey."

I leaned forward, giving him a small peck. "I ordered Chinese."

The brunet looked back down, somewhat sadly. "I'm not hungry."

I sighed, shifting so that Logan and I were face-to-face. "Do you wanna tell me what's wrong?" I asked seriously.

Logan's eyes shifted from mine, making me frown. "It's my fault." He mumbled. "Jo wants to keep Kyle and Kayla away from you because of me."

I pulled my boyfriend closer to me, kissing his forehead lightly. "That's not true."

"It is, Kendall. She hates me. You know it; I know it; everyone knows it." I gently shushed him when his voice began to tremble. "If it weren't for me you'd have your kids."

"But I wouldn't have you." I pointed out, lifting the brunet's chin to meet his eyes. "I would be miserable without you, and what good is having my kids if I can't even give them the love and attention they deserve?"

"But when Jo's lawyer starts digging, they're gonna find out about me...and my past." He continued in whisper. "You might not win. There's no way they'll let two kids that young live with an addict."

"_Former _addict." I correct instantly. "I'm sure that when they dig, they'll find that, but they'll also find that you are one-hundred-thirty-two days sober. You go to all the meetings and you're looking for a job...you've even applied for a few online degree programs." I poked his nose lovingly, making Logan giggle lightly. "You're not a bad person, Logie. I know that, you know that, and Jo knows that. She can hate you all she wants, but she can't change you."

"So...you won't hate me if this doesn't go in your favor?" He asked meekly.

"Of course not." I let out a breath. "But let's hope the odds are in our favor."

Logan nodded, snuggling deeper into my chest then looked up at me with an innocent smile. "You can go get the Chinese food now."


	10. Chapter 10

I was barely listening to David as he told me about what the team members had done for the day. My mind was definitely on my boyfriend. Logan had gone job hunting today and I wanted to be able to take off work and go with him, but he insisted that I go to work instead. Though, he wasn't able to get me out of the door before I gave him one, two...several kisses for good luck.

A sudden noise of a clipboard slapping on my desk had the smirk from the memory falling from my face and me almost falling out of my chair. "Holy...David!" I groaned.

"Mr. Knight, could you please stop thinking about your boyfriend and focus?"

My brows furrowed and I let out a short laugh. "What makes you think I was thinking about Logan?"

"Uh, because you're _always _thinking about Logan." David smirked at me and I could feel heat rising to my cheeks because he was right. The young man shook his head at me. "You're so in love with him. It's adorable. You even get the whole goofy grin thing they write about in romance novels."

"Shut up." I muttered, feeling my cheeks growing hotter. "It's just that he's job hunting today...and I want it to go well for him. He didn't say anything, but he seemed really nervous this morning." I sighed.

David smiled sadly at me. "Would it make you feel better if you called him?"

I bit my lip, and just when I thought my blush had faded, it returned. "Maybe..."

The dark skinned boy rolled his eyes at me as he left. "You have ten minutes, then we _have_ to get back to work!" He called over his shoulder.

I waved a dismissive hand at him before moving toward my phone, excitedly dialing Logan's cell phone that I recently bought him—which actually sparked a long discussion that lead to him insisting on finding a job no matter how much I told him that I had no problem with supporting both of us.

"I feel bad taking from you, Kendall. You've done so much for me already. You're going through a divorce, and I'm a grown man. I want to prove that I'm able to take care of myself," He said. "and I know you have no problem doing it, but I want to do this for me."

I had to give in then, though I was still going to spoil the brunet every chance I got.

I listened to the rings, expecting to get his voice mail because he might be in the middle of something, but even listening to his going out message would have been enough. I was surprised when Logan picked up just after the third ring. "Hey, Logie. Are you taking a break?"

"Sort of..." He replied softly making my forehead crease in concern.

I sat up a little straighter, now fully alert. "What's wrong, Logan?" The question was a slightly more demanding tone than usual, but I knew Logan. He wouldn't open up any other way.

With a long sigh, Logan finally spoke. "The job search didn't go well." He said vaguely.

"What does that mean, Logan?"

"It means, no one wants to hire a washed up popstar, college dropout, ex-drug addict, Kendall." He huffed into the phone and I shut my eyes tightly, wanting to rush home and hold him and kiss him and tell him that everything would be okay. "I gave up around ten and I've been at home ever since."

I frowned, glancing at the clock across the room to see that Logan was alone for three whole hours, probably feeling sorry for himself. "I'm sorry, Logie." was all I could say.

"Don't be sorry." He chuckled lightly. "I knew it would be hard—it's not like I qualify for a lot."

"You'll find something." I offered hopefully to which Logan scoffed. "You're taking those online classes to finish getting your degree, and...you're a genius, remember?"

"I've made some pretty dumb mistakes for a genius."

"But you're making up for them, and that's what counts."

"I wish everyone thought that way, Kendall. At least I'd have a job." He sighed.

"Everyone should think you're amazing and if people don't see it then they're crazy." I said.

Logan laughed which sounded like music to my ears. "You have to say that, you're my boyfriend."

I grinned. "I love it when you call me that."

"What? My boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

I smiled impossibly wider when Logan laughed again. "Get back to work, Kendall." I urged. "I'm sure David is getting annoyed by now."

It was then that I looked up and saw David standing in front of my desk with an expectant look. I chuckled at him. "Okay, but let's go out tonight. Hush, Logie, let me spoil you." I said when he started to protest. I imagined he was probably rolling his eyes at me as he agreed. "Okay, I'll see you tonight. Love you."

I could hear the smile in his voice. "I love you too."

We finally said our goodbyes and I turned to David after we hung up. The younger man stared at me with narrowed eyes. "What?" I questioned when he continued to scowl without saying anything.

"You've got it bad, dude."

…

"I told you we don't have to do this." Logan said as we walked to the restaurant. "I would have been perfectly content making something at home."

I rolled my eyes, throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. "Logie, you need to relax, okay? What do you think is gonna happen if we go out?" I smirked. I let out a small laugh when I saw he was actually trying to think of something. "Stop it. Just have fun with me tonight, please? We both deserve a break from all this drama."

With a sigh, I smiled when Logan's shoulders relaxed. "You're right." He said in defeat. "In fact, just walking and talking with you right now is nice." He snuggled deeper into my embrace, wrapping his arms around my middle and leaning his head on my shoulder. We walked in peaceful silence, for once, not bothered with thoughts of a divorce and custody battle or...the past. Just enjoying each other as we walked.

"Logan?" The silence was broken by an unfamiliar voice.

We both looked up, searching for the owner, seeing a man just slightly taller than Logan in worn clothes and tired eyes approaching us. "Steven?" Logan broke from my hold, rushing to the man who was apparently named Steven and giving him a tight hug.

I was confused—and slightly jealous, but whatever—as I watched the display in front of me. When I finally decided the hug was going on for a bit too long, I cleared my throat to get both of their attention. "Logie...who's this?" I forced a smile at...Steven? I didn't care anymore. I just wanted him to get his hands off my boyfriend.

Logan stepped back, letting me to get a better look at the man and smiled widely as he introduced us. "Steven, this is my _boyfriend_, Kendall." I shot me a look as he said boyfriend, making me smirk with pride. "Kendall, this is Steven. He's a friend of mine from...the past."

Suddenly it all made sense.

"So, it's true?" Steven spoke again. "You actually did it."

Logan smiled, giving a shrug. "I said I would."

"We all say that."

"But you can do it." Logan placed a hand on the man's shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. I narrowed my eyes at the gesture, but didn't say a thing. "Look at me. I managed to get out. With the support of family and friends I was able to get clean and now I'm on the track to get my life back together."

"Lucky you." Steven said softly. He took a step closer to Logan and resisted the urge to step forward as well. This had nothing to to with me, but I wouldn't hesitate to step in if this Steven guy overstepped some boundaries. "I always knew that if anyone would do it it'd be you. You were always so smart, and you were always carrying a book around." The two laughed and I imagined I would have too if I wasn't so focused on how close the two were standing and the way Steven was eying my boyfriend.

"You could always get out too." Logan's tone was hopeful as he pulled the man into another tight hug that had me tensing as it lingered. I watched Logan reach into his pocket and scribble something down before handing the piece of paper to Steven. "I'll help you...if you want it, okay?"

Steven nodded, hugging Logan again—even going as far as to press his lips to Logan's cheek. I stepped forward then, replacing my arm around Logan's shoulders and pulling him close. The two said their goodbyes before Steven ran off. Logan then turned to me with a glare. My eyes shifted. "What?"

"You're ridiculous, Kendall."

"What did I do?"

"Oh please, I could _feel_ your jealousy from here." He rolled his eyes. "Steven and I are just friends."

"Yeah, well, he's a little too friendly." I mumbled, making Logan huff and shrug out of my hold, an annoyed scowl fixed on his face the rest of the way to the restaurant.

…

I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt the bed shifting, waking me from my peaceful slumber. I let out a soft grunt, tightening my arms around Logan to get him to stop moving. His body froze and I sighed thankfully, letting my body relax again. I was almost asleep when Logan started moving again but slower. I felt my arm being lifted from around him and dropped onto something smaller and softer. I waited a few minutes, listening to Logan shuffle out of the room and the bedroom door gently shut behind him.

I opened my eyes, seeing that the replacement was Logan's pillow. I furrowed my brows at the weird behavior as I climbed out of bed, following the noises I could hear coming from the living room. I hid around the corner, listening to Logan talking to another person quietly.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have come here so late." I recognized the voice as Steven's from a few night ago.

"It's okay. I want to help you, okay? Just...get some sleep." Logan whispered back.

It was silent then, only Logan's soft humming could be heard and I figured Steven had fallen asleep. I turned the corner, entering the living room. Logan was sitting on the couch, softly petting his friend's hair as he held him. The brunet had that lost look in his eyes, his forehead was creased, and he would tug on his bottom lip slightly, making that face that I had come to call his thinking face. I walked further into the room, finally catching my boyfriend's attention. He looked up at me with sad, scared, and slightly pleading eyes. "Logie..." I sighed, taking a seat on the arm of the couch.

"He needs me, Kendall." He whispered. "I'm all he has."

"I'm not comfortable with this, with him."

Logan's eyes narrowed at me. "Why is that? Because he's a _crackhead_?"

"It's not like that, Logan." I quickly tried to calm him. "I...I don't know how I feel about you being around him."

"He's my friend." He whispered harshly.

"Clearly, he wants to be something more." I said with just as much bite making Logan roll his eyes, muttering something about me being crazy under his breath. "He can't stay here."

Logan whipped his head around, wearing a shocked expression. _"What?"_

"I'm sorry, Logie, but I don't feel comfortable with him being in my home."

"_Your _home?" His tone was disbelieving. "What happened to 'what's mine is yours'? I don't get a say in this?"

I shook my head, standing to me feet. "He can stay tonight, but he has to be gone tomorrow."

"Gone where? He doesn't have anywhere to go! I promised him I'd be here to help him; I can't break my promise."

I chuckled bitterly. "Funny. I didn't know you could keep promises." I mumbled to myself, but when I looked up at Logan's hurt and tear-filled eyes, I knew he heard it too. "Logan-"

"Don't." He turned away from me.

I sighed. "I didn't mean-"

"Just leave me alone, Kendall."

My shoulders slumped in defeat when he didn't turn around to look me. He kept his back to me, hands continuing to run over the sleeping man's hair, and picking up his soft humming. I pursed my lips in annoyance, but didn't speak on it. Instead, I stood leaning to press my lips into the shorter man's hair only to have him move away from me.

I slept alone that night.

…

"Da-" A glass of water and two aspirin were shoved into my arms before I could even finish. I chuckled at the younger man. "Thanks, but I don't think aspirin is gonna help this pain." I shook my head sadly, passing him to go into my office.

David was following quickly behind me, a look of concern on his face. "What happened?"

I fell into my desk chair with a heavy sigh, running my hands over my face, feeling the emotions welling up in me all over again. "Logan was gone this morning."

David's brows furrowed. "Gone?"

"All of his stuff was still in the apartment, but..." I wrenched in my bottom lip, blinking back tears. "It's not like him to just leave like that."

"Hey," David circled the desk, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I wasn't in any kind of mood to come up with a smart aleck remark about the unusually friendly gesture. I just wrapped my arms around him in return, trying to will my tears not to fall. "I'm sure he's okay. He'll be back." I sniffed, debating whether or not I should tell David about what happened last night and why I shouldn't be surprised if Logan didn't come back. David pulled back from the hug, holding my shoulders and looking me straight in the eye. "This won't be like last time, okay? He's coming back."

I swallowed, moving my eyes from his, because I wasn't so sure.

David moved his hands from my shoulders with a sigh. "Try to relax, okay?" He moved out of the door, gently shutting it behind him.

I tried to work; I really did, but I couldn't stop thinking about Logan. I wouldn't blame him if he never talked to me again. What I said was awful and I didn't even mean it, but I probably hurt him in the worst way possible. I kept thinking that I screwed everything up. I had finally gotten Logan back, only to lose him again because of my stupid impulsiveness. I had no one to blame but myself if I returned to the apartment to find all of Logan's stuff gone because he decided to run off with Steven.

My self-pitying was interrupted by the intercom beep from my phone. "Mr. Knight, you have a visitor." David said.

I sat up, wiping my eyes, not realizing that I had been crying or for how long. "I'm not really in the mood for visitors, David." My voice was low and rough as I spoke, burying my face in my hands.

David didn't respond, so I assumed he hung up to send the person away until the door to my office opened. I looked up, eyes widening when I saw Logan standing there. "Logie!" I stood up, rushing to the brunet and pulling him into a tight hug. I allowed myself to smile when I felt his arms wrap around me in return.

My smile fell soon after when Logan spoke. "I can't believe you said that to me." He dropped his arms, pulling away from me. I felt my chest tighten with guilt when I laid eyes on his hurt-filled expression. "Do you know how much that hurt?"

"I'm so sorry, Logan. I-"

He shook his head, taking a step back. "No. I'm gonna talk and you're gonna listen." He glared at me. "I can't believe how you acted last night. You acted like a controlling jerk, and you made me feel like I didn't matter, and...I don't want to think that you said what you did just to hurt me but that's what it felt like."

"Lo-" He held up a hand to silence me and I nodded.

"We've both been through a lot, Kendall, and we both have some habits that we need to kick. I'm doing everything I can to keep my promise to you because I know I hurt you. I have to live with that guilt everyday—that I hurt one of the most important people in my life." I sighed, feeling like even more of an ass. "And you're used to whatever strange relationship you had with Jo. The fighting, the jealousy—that's normal for you, but Kendall, I'm not Jo!" He wrapped his arms around me again and I instinctively returned the hug. "I love you, and I care about you, but you have to do the same for me."

I nodded, kissing his forehead. "I'm sorry, Logie." I whispered.

"It's okay." I felt him smiling into my chest.

We stood like that for a few more minutes, my arms running over his back, silently reassuring myself that Logan was there and he was still mine. "I got a job today." The brunet spoke up.

I looked down at him with a smile. "You did? Where?"

"Hope Point." He grinned. At my curious look, he elaborated. "I took Steven there this morning. That's why I was gone. One of the counselors saw me and we started talking, and then he offered me a job."

"Logie, that's great." I pulled him into a kiss. It was only a short peck, but I still reveled in the feel of his lips against mine.

"It's not much because I'm still in school and don't have my degree yet. It's actually more like a paid internship, but he says if I do well, when I do get my degree he'll have no problem with promoting me." I loved the excited smile that was plastered on his face. It was contagious. "It's perfect for me, Kendall. I may not be the doctor I expected to be, but I still get to help people."

"I'm glad your dreams are coming true, Logie." I pulled him into another kiss.

"Yours are next." Logan smirked into the kiss, surprising me by deepening it, slowly backing up until his back was hitting my desk. He pulled back, running his fingers over the wood of the desk. "Don't tell me you don't have a fantasy of fucking me on this desk."

I licked my lips, already feeling my cock hardening as Logan actually turned around and pushed everything off the desk before laying back on it. I chuckled at the mess that was once neatly organized thanks to a certain assistant of mine. "David is gonna be pissed." We laughed as Logan pulled me on top of him, locking our lips once again.


	11. Chapter 11

My eyes were fixed straight ahead on the road in a hard glare. I gripped the steering wheel of the car tightly between my fist as I drove in silence. Logan sat in the passenger seat, giving me occasional nervous glances. My body was tense from anger. I had another meeting with Jo and her lawyer today and they pulled out every trick in the book to make me look like some sort of unfit parent. I felt like we didn't have much of an argument. I brought this up to my lawyer at the end of the meeting. She sighed. "I'll do all that I can, Kendall, but at this point...it doesn't look good. I'm sorry."

"Damn it!" I banged my fist on the wheel once we had reached a red light, making Logan jump in surprise.

"Kendall," Logan sighed, letting out a breath to relax. "I know things were bad today-"

"Bad?" I whipped my head around to glare at the brunet. "Logan, I might lose my kids! I've never done anything to hurt them or cause them any harm."

"I know..." He said quietly.

"I've been a damn good father to them, and now I might never get to see them again!" I hit the accelerator a little harder than usual when the light turned green.

"I know, Kendall. I know." Logan reached over, massaging my knee but I remained rigid. "But you just have to trust that everything will be okay and-"

"No, Logan! It's not gonna be okay!" I let out a humorless laugh, feeling angry tears gathering in my eyes. "Fuck, I am so _sick _of you always telling me that it's going to be okay when we both know it's not! You were there, Logan. You heard everything Jo's lawyer said and we just sat there with nothing. Do you really think that the odds are in our favor right now?"

From the corner of my eye I could see Logan's pained expression, but my mind was still distracted by the earlier events of the day. I could still remember Jo's smirk every time her lawyer borderline slandered my name. I felt my blood boiling once again, my hard grip on the wheel only tightening once I saw the flashing lights in my rear view. "Shit." I sighed heavily as I pulled over.

I waited, impatiently tapping my armrest as the officer slowly approached. "Kendall, relax." Logan's voice penetrated my bubble of rage, making me roll my eyes.

"_Not now._" I gritted out, not having to look but actually able to feel Logan backing down.

After a less than pleasant encounter with the officer and a ticket for a ridiculous amount of money, I was finally able to go home. I didn't stop to hear whatever Logan was saying about dinner. Only wanting to be alone with my thoughts, I stomped almost childishly to my room and slammed the door shut.

A few minutes later the bedroom door was swinging open, Logan walked in wearing an angry and frustrated scowl. "This is not my fault!" He exclaimed.

I glared at him in return. "What are you talking about?"

"From the moment we left that office you have been an asshole to me, and I think it's because on some level you blame me for everything that's going wrong lately—Jo taking half of your stuff, the custody battle not going your way, and then the speeding ticket!"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't feel like being psychoanalyzed right now." I said as calmly as I could. "I know that because you go to therapy, you think you know everything I'm thinking and feeling, but you don't."

"Then tell me what's going on with you!"

"I don't have to tell you everything!" I yelled. "Sometimes I just want to be alone, is that okay?" I watched Logan's eyes turn sad but they were still filled with anger. "I'm stressed and I want to be alone."

I threw myself on the bed, covering my face with my hands. Logan didn't say anything for a while and I thought he was finally going to shut up and give me a few moments of peace but I was proven wrong when Logan spoke again. Though quiet, it didn't fail to flare up a new annoyance. "Well...I'm stressed, too, Kendall."

"What do you have to be stressed about?" I sat up to send him another glare.

Logan gave me a hurt look. "A lot..." I made a sound of disbelief, falling back into the bed. "You know...despite what you might think about me, I'm just as stressed as you are. Not only do I have my own things going on, but I have things with you too." I scoffed, seeing that just made Logan angrier. "You may think that you're fighting this alone, but you're not. I love Kyle and Kayla like they were my own kids, and when you get upset, I get upset. It's not fair to me when you act like I'm not a part of this."

"I told you I don't feel like talking, Logan." I said slowly. "Just leave me alone."

He didn't move for a while, seeming to have an internal debate with what his next move should be. I watched with a small pang of regret as the brunet's shoulders slumped with defeat and he turned, slowly trudging out of the room. I waited a short amount of time but at the same time I waited too long to lift myself out of bed and follow him. "Logan, I'm..." I looked around the living.

Nothing.

With furrowed brows, I entered the kitchen.

Nothing.

The bathroom, guest room, even the damn closets.

Nothing.

I was starting to get worried. A million different scenarios running through my head of where Logan went and what happened to him. I paced around the apartment, trying to think of every place Logan could have gone. At first I thought he would go to his mom, but when I called, she said she hadn't seen him. I then called my mom and she said the same thing. I called James, Carlos, and even Tori to see if Logan had gone back to work but I came up empty.

It was starting to get late and there was still no sign of Logan. I couldn't stay still and every time I tried to calm down and think rationally, I kept thinking the worst case scenario of Logan hurt or dying somewhere because of me. After another hour of leg bouncing anxiety, I decided that sitting around the apartment wasn't going to help me—if anything, it was making me crazy.

I got up, grabbing my keys, thinking that maybe I'd go wait out Logan's absence with James or Carlos. When I walked out of the apartment building, I saw a familiar figure sitting on the steps just outside of my home. "Logan!" I walked up to him when he didn't even look up at me. "What the hell, Logan?" I glared down at him. "Have you been out here the whole time?"

"No..." He said quietly, still not looking at me.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I've been worried sick!" Now that I could see he was okay, I felt my anger and annoyance returning. "I didn't know where you went or what happened to you! You can't keep running off every time things get a little hard. You haven't done that since..." I trailed off, eye widening in worry as I looked to the brunet who couldn't meet my eyes. "Logie..." I knelt to his level, taking his hands in mine and trying to get a good look at him. He continued to do everything he could not to look at me. I felt panic and heartache washing over me all at once. "Oh, no, Logie. Please, tell me you didn't."

He hesitated. "No..." He responded almost inaudibly.

My eyes narrowed when he still couldn't look at me. "Show me."

"What?" He gave me an inquisitive glare.

I stood up, pulling the shorter man somewhat roughly by the arm with me. "Show me your arms."

"Wha—Kendall!"

He began struggling against me as I tightly gripped his wrist, pulling his sleeves up to reveal the inside of his elbows. There I found all of the old scars from previous injections...but no new ones. Logan snatched his arm from my grasp, sending a deadly glare my way. "I told you that I didn't do anything."

I watched him fall back into his seat on the step, and with a sigh, I followed his example. "I'm sorry." I placed a hand on his knee. "I just thought-"

"I know what you thought." He interrupted with a harsh tone that tapered into a sad whisper. "I thought about it too."

My brow arched up in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I almost did it. I was in the car and I drove there—I _actually _drove there, but I couldn't get out of the car." His voice was breaking and I immediately wrapped my arms around him, allowing him to bury his face into my shoulder. "I can't believe I even came that close." He started to sob.

I gently shushed him, holding back my own tears. "It's okay, Logie. Nothing happened. You didn't do anything." I continued trying to reassure him.

"But I _almost _did." The genius insisted. "What if next time I can't stop myself? I could screw everything up and let everyone down." I felt my heart ripping in half in my chest when brown, watery eyes looked up at me. "I don't want to lose you. I know I said you stress me out, but I can't lose you, Kendall. I can't." He clung to me tightly, face once again finding shelter in the crook of my neck.

"Hey," I rubbed his back soothingly. "You're not going to lose me. I'm going to be here to help you every day." I only got short sniffles and a few quiet whimpers in return. I lifted him so that we were face to face again, drying his wet cheeks with my thumbs. "And don't you worry about me or anyone else. You didn't do this for anyone but you."

He sniffed again, making his slightly pink nose twitch. I couldn't help but lean forward and place a kiss to it. Logan giggled at the gesture, making me give a small smile at well. "I'm sorry I worried you." He said. I shook my head, a silent confirmation that I no longer cared. "I'm just scared. Everything is getting so complicated."

"I know. We're both getting so stressed and...it isn't right that I'm taking all of my anger out on you." I once again pulled him to me in a tight embrace. "I know you have your own things going on. Your job, school, and...you're going to be battling this addiction everyday." I sighed. "I can't even imagine what it must feel like."

Logan sat up, looking better but still not quite at ease. "Maybe I should pick up more one on one therapy...just to be safe." He looked at me as if seeking approval.

"Whatever you feel is right." I rubbing his arm soothingly. "And I'm sorry for how I acted. It wasn't right."

"It's okay, but...Kendall?" I quirked my brow curiously when he timidly chewed on his bottom lip. "Do you forgive me?"

"Forgive you?"

"For what I did back then—for leaving?"

I paused, not believing he was asking me this question. "Of course I forgive you, Logie."

I watched Logan visibly relax once the words left my mouth. "Thank you." He leaned forward, pressing his lips softly to mine. "I love you." He mumbled against my lips.

"I love you too."


	12. Chapter 12

"Good morning, David." I smiled as I passed the young assistant's desk.

He looked up at me with a surprised yet amused smile. "Good morning, Mr. Knight." He returned. "You look...happy." I just chuckled, flipping through the large stack of paperwork that was waiting for me just like every morning—except this one was quite larger in comparison. This realization didn't do anything to falter my mood. I was still on top of the world.

The last meeting with Jo and our lawyers took a turn that was completely unexpected but not at all unspirited. My lawyer kept her promise and did everything she could for us, but she couldn't do much else. "It's all up to the judge from here." She said. Logan gripped my hand tightly when my shoulders fell. Feeling defeated, going into that meeting room, I was prepared to lose my kids. I wasn't prepared for Jo and her lawyer to stand up and request the full physical custody be provided to me.

It turns out, her agent stayed true to her word and landed Jo and contract in a new series. The pilot was filmed and had a good reception so they planned to follow through with it. "I figured, you know, I'd be too busy on set to be there for them and I don't want a nanny raising my kids. _Legally_, I felt obligated to let you have full custody." She said with a roll of her eyes, which I knew—even if she was being bitchy about it—that was Jo's way of being nice and doing the right thing.

For the first time in years, I pulled Jo into a tight embrace that was fueled by genuine gratefulness and affection instead of the usual feelings of stipulation. I went to talk to my lawyer after that to see what would happen next, but I did notice Logan approaching Jo out of the corner of my eye. "Thank you. He was really worried about this." He said to her.

"Yeah, well, don't read too much into this." Jo shot back. "I did it for _him._"

Regardless of the reason she did it, I was still thankful that she did.

There was a short discussion about Jo and I sharing legal custody and that she still had visitation rights, but all I could think about was that I got my kids. Finally, the papers were signed and everything was official. Logan and I agreed to let Jo spend the weekend with Kyle and Kayla, meanwhile we went home and celebrated throughout the weekend and even a little this morning.

"Did you sleep well?" David looked at me with curiously narrowed eyes when he noticed my large grin.

"Not particularly." I shrugged though I couldn't help but smirk.

When I looked to David, I couldn't help but laugh at the wrinkle in his nose that clearly said he understood, but he wished he hadn't. "Thanks for that image..." He mumbled, turning away from me and to the computer. "No eye contact for a few days, okay?" I laughed again, pulling the paper work off the desk to begin working on in my office. "Oh, Mr. Knight," The young man called for my attention again. "Mr. Dole called and wanted to confirm your trip to his company in New York tomorrow."

My smile fell, happiness replaced with confusion. "That trip isn't until the fifteenth."

David's eyes shifted hesitantly. "Tomorrow _is _the fifteenth."

I was even more confused, moving into my office and checking the calendar on my desk to see that today was the fourteenth—the day before my week long trip to New York, and also the day Kyle and Kayla officially came to live with us. "Damn it." I groaned, falling into my seat and frustratingly running my hands through my hair.

"Is everything alright, sir?" David carefully walked in.

"No, everything is not alright." I sighed. "Kyle and Kayla are coming to live with me today."

"That's great!" David smiled. "So, what's the problem?"

"I'm going to miss their first week at home because of this trip."

"But Logan will be home. It's not like they'll be alone." He tried to reason.

I dropped my hands onto the desk tiredly. "Logan's never been alone with them before. It wouldn't be fair to leave him alone with them for the first time when they're in a new place." I sighed again, picking up my work phone.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm calling Mr. Dole to cancel." I waited, listening to the rings before the phone was taken from me and placed back on the hook. "What are you doing?" I looked to him like he was crazy.

"I'm helping you. This is a very important client, and you're going to let him down because you're scared to leave your kids with Logan?" He quirked an accusing brow at me.

I glared at the boy who dared to stand there and question my confidence in Logan. "I'm not scared. Logan isn't ready."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know Logan!" I exclaimed then let out a small chuckle. "He'll freak out and panic without me there." I moved to grabbed the phone again but David grabbed the whole contraption and held it to his chest.

I sat back, staring at him with a look of surprise. "You can't keep babying him." David laughed. "How can you expect him to become a part of your family?"

"I was gonna ease him into it..." I shrugged, receiving a disapproving gaze from the younger man. "What do you expect me to do?"

"Trust him!"

"I do!"

"Then let him do this. Prove to him that you trust him enough to be alone with your kids for a week, and stop being such an overprotective dad."

I huffed, slouching in my seat because David was right. Logan was a grown man and didn't need me to protect him anymore, and he was great with kids. He had taken care of Katie on his own many times when she was sick or got hurt and I didn't know what to do. Sure, we had some setbacks with the babysitting thing back in the day, but that was eight kids and this was two.

No matter how many times I looked at the facts and told myself that it would be okay, my body was still racked with nerves. "Okay..." I sighed. "Can I least have the phone to call Logan and tell him what's going on?"

David rolled his eyes, setting the phone back down on my desk. "I'll go confirm your flight information and hotel reservation."

"Would you mind going home and packing for me too?"

David answered with a glare that clearly said it wasn't going to happen.

I laughed when the door shut behind him, and dialed Logan's number. He surprised me by picking up on the first ring. "Hey, Logie." I grinned at the sound of his voice. "Are you busy?"

"No, I'm just sitting at home until I have to go to work. Why? What's up?"

"Nothing really, just..." I paused, having one last moment of hesitation. "I have a trip to New York that I completely forgot about."

Logan chuckled on the other end. "That sounds like something you'd do." He commented.

I let out a small laugh as well, then continued slowly. "Yeah, um...I'm supposed to leave tomorrow."

He didn't say anything for a moment and I almost thought the call had dropped. "How long is this trip, Kendall?" He asked quietly.

"...All week..."

"Kendall..." Logan whined. "Kayla and Kyle are coming home _today._"

"I know, I know, but...you can handle it." I tried reassuring both of us with my words. "You've spent time with them, and you've babysat before."

"But every time I did, I was with you." I heard him let out a breath on the other end, presuming that he was trying to calm himself down. "What...what if I mess up somehow or they don't like me?"

"They love you." I laughed at the ridiculous question. "And you won't mess up. You know what to do; you know how to take care of children. It won't be a problem."

Another pause. "Are you sure?"

"I trust you, Logie."

…

"Bye, Daddy!" Kayla jumped into my arms and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.

"Bye, baby girl." I smiled as I kissed her head and squeezed her just as tight. "I'm gonna miss you." I finally let go, kissing her cheek and smiling wider at the giggle she let out. I turned to Kyle, opening my arms to him. I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace when he took place in my chest. "See you later, buddy." I gave him a kiss on the cheek as well as I let him go. "You guys be good for Logan, okay?" I looked at them seriously, but they just grinned at me in return.

"Okay." They chorused.

I turned to Logan who held an uneasy smile. "Come here." I grabbing his hand, tugging him over, and placing a gentle kiss on his lips. We broke when several sounds of disgust were let out below us followed by twin giggles. I let a small laugh, shooing them away before moving back to Logan. "I love you, and I'll miss you." I said once we were apart again.

Logan gave a soft smile. "I know. I'll miss you too."

"It's only for a week." I whispered. "Relax; stop thinking so much."

That got at least a light chuckle out of him. "I'll try."

I gave him one more kiss before grabbing my bag and heading towards the door. "Bye, guys. I love you."

"Love you, too." The three of them said, making me grin like an idiot all the way down to my car.

…

I flopped down on the hotel bed, groaning from the three hour "bored" meeting and groaning as I realized that I had to get up and go to another one in another hour. "You're so over dramatic." David said. I imagined he was rolling his eyes. I wasn't sure, and I wasn't about to lift my head to find out. "It wasn't that bad." He nudged me before sitting on the bed opposite from mine.

"David, it was the most boring meeting I ever had to sit through!" I sat up slightly. "I wanted to shove a pen in my eye just to have something to do!"

The young man laughed at me. "I think that's because it's nearing the end of the week, and you're anxious to get back to your family." As tired and wound up as I was, I found myself grinning widely at the idea of who was waiting for me back in LA. "How is Logan handling it, by the way?"

"He says everything is fine so far—they've played games and everyone is getting to bed on time—they just miss me."

"See?" David nudged me again. "I told you he could handle it."

"Yes, David, you were right." I rolled my eyes. "Why don't you take a break? You've been working hard today too."

"If you want me to leave so you can call Logan, just say so." David chuckled, moving towards the door.

"Leave so I can call Logan." I laughed, tossing a pillow at the little smart ass. When the door finally shut, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and called Logan over Face Time. I impatiently waited as it rang, my leg starting to bounce slightly.

Finally, Logan's face appeared in front of me, making my smile return. "Hi, Kendall." He gave me a smile.

"Hey, you look tired." My eyebrows came together in concern when Logan nodded, rubbing his eyes with a frown. It was then I took notice of his unfamiliar surroundings. "Where are you?"

"Um..." Logan took in a breath. "The hospital."

"The hos-" I sat up abruptly, heart speeding up in panic. "What happened? Are Kyle and Kayla okay?" I was speaking quickly, now on my feet and pacing frantically. I was fully prepared to start packing and catch the next flight back to LA when Logan started repeating for me to calm down.

"It's alright, Kendall. They're fine. There was just a small incident..."

"Incident?" My voice was raising in volume from the brunet's vague responses. "Logan, _what happened_?"

"_Don't _yell at me." He glared. "It wasn't my fault."

"Logan, I left them in your care. I trusted you!"

"Then keep trusting me!" Logan paused, and glanced down. I could hear a small whimper that sounded like Kayla through the phone. Logan then turned back to the phone with a lower tone. "You neglected to inform me that Kyle had asthma."

I finally stopped pacing, pinching the bridge of my nose with a sigh. "I did, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Logan continued to look at me tiredly. "He had a mild asthma attack at school and they took him to the hospital just to be safe. He's gonna be let out in a few minutes, but the nurses here wouldn't let me sign him out because I'm not a legal guardian. So I had to call Jo from work and she's been yelling at me since she got here..." Logan trailed off, rubbing his temple. "Kendall, she's evil." He whined.

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh from that. "It'll be alright, Logie." I gave a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry I yelled. I just panicked."

"It's okay." He laughed. "I panicked too."

"Just hang tight. I'll be home on Friday—that's only two days." I raised a brow in a somewhat challenging way. "Think you can handle it?"

"I _know_ I can." He smiled confidently at me. I opened my mouth to continue what was sure to become a flirtatious conversation when Kayla whimpered again. Logan's attention went to her. "What's wrong, princess?" My heart melted at the words, and I felt a love sick smile spreading across my lips.

"I'm tired." Kayla's sleepy voice floated through the speaker.

"We'll go home soon, okay?" Logan lifted the little girl into his lap, shifting the screen so that I could see them both. "Here, say hi to daddy."

I watched her green eyes brighten, though they were still tired. "Hi, daddy." She smiled.

"Hey, baby." I grinned, heart longing to be back home with them. "How are you?"

"Logan taught me Dr. Seuss!"

I laughed at her excitement. "He did?"

She nodded happily. "I can read Green Eggs and Ham _and _Hop on Pop all by myself."

"That's great, sweetheart!" I glanced at the door when it opened and David walked in. "You'll have to read them to me when I get home."

"I will, daddy." I watched her eyes droop slightly.

Logan must have noticed too because he was pulling Kayla to his chest and letting her head rest on his shoulder. "We should get going." He said to me, and I nodded in understanding though I didn't want to part from them so soon. "Tell daddy bye, Kayla." He turned to the half asleep little girl, kissing her cheek to get her attention.

"Bye daddy." she gave a cute wave to the camera. "We love you."

"I love you too." I waved back. "Kiss your brother for me."

"Okay."

We said our final goodbyes before the call was ended. I let out a long sigh, falling back into my bed, mind reeling with different thoughts. "You miss them?" David spoke up quietly.

"More than you know."

…

When I got home that Friday night, I was greeted with the sight of Logan, Kyle, and Kayla curled up together on the couch and the TV showing six chipmunks singing and dancing around on stage about being a family. I smiled, walking to the couch and untangling the two small children and carrying them to their rooms. I tucked them in, giving them each a kiss before exiting.

I moved back to the living room and shut off the TV. Logan stirred from the sudden silence, eye fluttering open. "You're home." He smiled tiredly.

"Yeah," I whispered, lifting him into my arms. Just as I did with Kyle and Kayla, I carried him to our bed and placed him under the blankets, giving him a kiss. I smiled when I could feel him slowly returning it.

"I missed you." He whispered.

"I missed you too." I brought my hand up to slowly caress his cheek, mind thinking back to everything we had ever gone through with each other and how far we had come since then. I thought about all the time I spent without him and the time I spent trying to push him away and decided I never wanted to go through that again. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the man in front of me. "I want to marry you." I found myself whispering.

I was answered with the steady rise and fall of Logan's chest and a light snore. I chuckled, standing up straight, and getting ready for bed. When I woke up, I did not have the luxury of staying home all weekend this time. I was up and dressed by eight, finding Logan in the kitchen with a cup of coffee waiting for me. "Morning." I said with a smile, kissing his lips.

"Morning." Logan gave a smile in return, but I could see his mind was elsewhere that morning. I started to prepare myself a quick breakfast when Logan spoke. "Kendall?"

"Hm?"

"Last night...did you, um..."

I glanced at him curiously, watching him bite his lip lightly. "Did I what?"

"I thought...I guess I dreamed that..." He glanced at me, seeing my brow raised inquisitively at him. "Never mind." He smiled, placing his cup on the counter, giving me another kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to get Kyle and Kayla ready."

I nodded, watching him go. When he was down the hall, I pulled out my phone, hitting the three on my speed dial. "Hello?" I heard David's tired voice.

"Hey, I need your input on something important."

He yawned. "What is it?"

"...How much do you know about rings?"


	13. Chapter 13

"How was your lunch, Mr. Knight?" David asked, glancing at me briefly before turning back to his computer.

I grinned in return, holding up the black velvet box. "I didn't eat lunch."

David's eyes grew wide. "It came?" He was now sporting an excited grin as well. "Can I see it again, please?"

I laughed. "Calm down." I leaned in, opening the box to reveal the ring I had spent over a month looking and waiting for. It was a white gold, bar set ring. It wasn't anything too flashy, knowing that Logan wouldn't want to call attention to it, but it was beautifully sculpted and when I saw it, I could picture Logan's face lighting up when he saw it. It was then that I knew I had found the perfect ring.

"It's gorgeous, and Logan is going to love it."

"I hope so." I let out deep breath, closing the casing and placing it back in my pocket.

"Mr. Knight," David gave me a playfully surprised look. "Are you nervous? I've never seen you nervous for anything."

"Logan is different." I gave a small, nervous chuckle. "He's always been different. He brings out the best and worst in me, and he drives me crazy but I love him more than anything."

I was caught slightly off guard when David pulled me into the second hug he had ever given me in the entire time we've known each other. After getting over the shock, I hugged him back. "I'm so glad you're happy now, Mr. Knight."

"Thanks, David." I laughed, stepping back from the hug. "I'm definitely happier than I've ever been."

"You're a lot easier to work for now, too." He nudged me playfully as he returned to his seat.

I chuckled. "Hey, did you ever find that file?" I grinned as David shot a glare my way.

I spent the rest of the work day in my office. I spent more time checking the reservation for dinner, practicing what I would say when that moment came, and staring at the ring, imagining Logan's face when he saw it than doing actual work. Would he cry tears of joy? Would he hesitate? Would he answer quickly and then kiss me like there's no tomorrow?

...Would he even say yes?

I shook my head, not wanting to dwell on that thought.

"Have you done any work today?" David laughed as he entered my office.

"Yeah..." I chuckled, playing with the ring in my hands.

The young man raised a skeptical brow at me, stepping around the desk to eye my computer screen. "I see you've opened a new spreadsheet." He commented and I nodded with a smile. "Mr. Knight, it's blank...and it's not even titled!" He exclaimed giving me a disapproving look.

I held in another laugh, but I couldn't keep the amused smile off of my face. "But David, you're so much better at-"

"Just move." He shooed me from my seat before taking my place and getting to work all the while mumbling about how I would have messed it up anyway.

I continued to grin, turning toward my cell phone when it started to ring. My smile grew when I saw Logan's picture flashing across the screen. "Hey, Logie!" I swatted the younger man in my chair when he mocked me. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to call you to tell you that I'm going to stay late to work today." Logan said slowly.

I felt my smile falter a bit. "How late?"

Logan paused and I could already tell I wouldn't like the answer. "Well, I won't be able to pick up Kyle and Kayla," I let out a breath. That wasn't so bad. "and I won't make it to dinner."

That was. "Logan!" I sighed—more like borderline whined.

"I know. I know, you had this date planned for a while, but something came up."

I could already feel myself getting angry. I wanted to yell. I wanted to demand that he tell me what came up that was so much more important than this, but I held back. Instead I took a deep breath to calm myself before continuing. "What came up that you have to stay that late?" I asked calmly.

He paused again. "Well...Steven..." Of course. "He, uh, asked me to go to therapy with him today." Again I fought my impulse to get angry and yell, but I couldn't bring myself to speak, knowing that my words wouldn't be as calm as they previously were. "You're mad." I heard Logan speak again.

I breathed, but it did nothing to calm me down. "Yes, Logie, I'm mad." I attempted to keep my voice level, but my leg began to bounce from irritation. I saw David look over at me worriedly. I held up a hand for him to wait. "I was really looking forward to this dinner tonight."

"I know, but I promise, we'll go next week or something."

"_Next week_?" I stood up. "Do you really expect me to wait another week to-" David started slapping my knee and I caught myself. "to...to have a dinner alone with you?" I looked back to the shorter man who gave me a thumbs up.

Loan sighed. "It'll be okay, Kendall." I frowned—okay, pouted—though he couldn't see it. "I just need you to understand that this is something I have to do and..."

"You don't have to explain it, Logan." I stopped him with my own defeated sigh.

"He's my friend."

"I know!" I even let out a chuckle. "David and I are friends and you don't get all crazy when we're together. I should give you the same courtesy."

I could imagine Logan smiling widely, proud that we were finally making progress. I had to admit that I was proud of myself. "Thank you. I'll see you later."

"Love you."

He let out a chuckle. "I love you too."

We hung up and I slumped against my desk. "I'm sorry, Mr. Knight." David offered a sympathetic smile.

"It's alright." I shrugged, though I was still a little disappointed. "It guess I can wait another week."

The dark skinned boy nodded. "...Who's Steven?"

I let out an annoyed groan. "He's this guy that Logan knew back in the day and he wants to help him get clean."

"And...you don't like that?" I shrugged again. "Why?"

"I don't know!" I threw my arms up in exasperation. "I wish I knew why it bothered me so much." I let out another sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose in annoyance with myself. "I mean, I did the same thing when I was with Jo."

David didn't say anything for a moment. "Could that be why it bothers you so much—because you did the same thing Logan's doing right before you left Jo?"

I looked up as David's words sunk in. It makes perfect sense. How jealous I became as soon as I met Steven and even my annoyance with him up until now—which previously didn't make any sense because Steven wasn't a bad guy—it all made sense. That deja vu feeling was there and this time confusion didn't follow it. I felt better just knowing that I wasn't being a dick about Steven for no reason. "David, you really are a genius." I grinned at him.

The young man gave a little shrug. "So I've been told." I chuckled at the cocky attitude. "I have just one more question." His more hesitant tone did not go unnoticed. I raised my brow as a sign for him to continue. "Are we really friends?" Both of my eyebrows shot up at the inquiry. "I only ask since you said you didn't consider me a friend because that would be weird because I worked for you and..."

"David!" I was laughing loudly at his ramblings. "Relax. We're friends. I just like messing with you." I reached over, squeezing his should lightly.

David gave a glare, but I could see a trace of humor behind it. "You're an ass."

…

I looked up from the ring in my hand when the knob on the front door began to jiggle. I quickly stuffed the item in my pocket, flipping on the TV to make myself look more casual. Logan walked through the door a second later, looking surprised to see me. "Hey, you didn't have to wait up." Though he didn't look disappointed to see that I did.

"It's okay. I wasn't getting much sleep anyway." I patted the cushion beside me, inviting my boyfriend to sit next to me. He did so, snuggling up to me with a content sigh. I smiled to myself, wrapping my arm tightly around him, and kissing his forehead. "How was work?"

"It was fun." I chuckled. Typical Logan. "Sorry I had to cancel our plans."

"It's alright. I understand why you would want to. A friend of yours needed you and wanted to be there for him." I felt Logan's head nod into my chest. "I can't stay mad at you for having such a big heart." I said, kissing his head again.

"Still, you've been planning this date for a long time. I probably had reservations and everything."

"Yeah," I shrugged. "but it all worked out. I ended up taking David."

Logan slowly lifted out of my hold, making me look to him with confusion. "Oh." was all he said.

My brow quirked curiously. "What?"

"Nothing." Logan chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck and standing from the couch and moving toward the bedroom.

"It's not nothing." I followed, with a smirk. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to sit on the bed with me before he could get away. "Tell me."

The brunet looked away, a light blush covering him cheeks. "It's silly."

My smile because wider at this. "Are you jealous?" I let out a small laugh. "Of David?"

Logan rolled his eyes, standing from the bed. "Don't make fun of me, Kendall."

"I'm..." I took a second to sober up before continuing. "I'm not making fun of you, it's just that...yeah, it's a little silly that you'd be jealous of David."

"I told you, but..." Logan let out a heavy sigh. "the idea of you and David having dinner together..." He made this face that showed he didn't know what he was feeling, but he knew it wasn't a good feeling. "It's weird imagining you two hanging out outside of work."

My brow was quirked again. "...Does it bother you?"

"No." He answered immediately with a small snicker. I nodded, standing to strip down to my boxers. "Well..." I looked up as Logan spoke. "Maybe...a little, but I don't know why."

I approached the genius whose forehead was creased in thought, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. "Because you don't like sharing what's yours." I kissed his reddening neck, smirking into the smooth skin. "Do you know how hot you are when you're jealous?"

"I'm not jealous." He mumbled back.

"Yes you are." I laughed, releasing my hold on him to go to the bathroom.

"No, I'm not!" Logan called from behind me only making me laugh harder. "Kendall, I'm not...oh, for God's sake, Kendall!" I rolled my eyes and turned to the bathroom mirror when the short man took notice of my forgotten pants on the floor. "How many times do I have to tell you to pick up your clothes? I'm not your..."

He caught my attention again when he voice trailed off. I glanced at the reflection in the mirror of our bedroom, seeing Logan holding my pants in one hand...and the ring in the other. My eyes went wide and I turned, rushing to where he stood. "Kendall..." He looked at me with confused but hopeful eyes.

"Uh..." I smiled nervously. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"But...the dinner...were you going to..."

I easily took the ring from him, his mind obviously reeling with questions but he couldn't get his brain to work well enough to speak properly. "If I had..." I held the ring out to him, taking his hand in my free one. "what would you have said?"

I grew nervous when Logan didn't respond right away. He took a few seconds, swallowing before a smile appeared. "Yes."


	14. Chapter 14

I got some weird looks on my way up to the office and I got some even weirder looks when I spent more than an hour occupying David's desk. I looked over my work, finally declaring it finished and moving into my office to wait. I called David this morning, telling him that he wouldn't need to come into work until ten-with his day usually beginning at six or earlier, he was more than grateful to be able to sleep in.**  
><strong>

I spent that time buying balloons and decorations and other colorful things to cover David's desk. Kyle and Kayla even provided a few home-made cards and decorations to put on display. I the time I had to wait for David to arrive, I cleaned my office-something that, on any other day, I would have David do. "Mr. Knight..." There was that familiar voice on my intercom, resounding through my almost empty office.**  
><strong>

I smiled, pressing the button to respond. "Yes, David?"**  
><strong>

"What did you do to my desk?"**  
><strong>

I let out a laugh. "Do you not know what today is?"**  
><strong>

"I know what today is...I didn't think you did."**  
><strong>

"Give me little credit. I'm not a complete ass." I chuckled. "Come in here. I wanna give you something."**  
><strong>

"More? Mr. Knight, you didn't-"**  
><strong>

"Get in here!" I laughed loudly. I sat slid to sit on my desk, smiling widely at the young assistant when he walked in slowly. "Hey, happy birthday."**  
><strong>

"Thanks." He responded slowly. I could tell he was confused, wondering why I was acting so out of the ordinary.**  
><strong>

I stood up, pulling him into a hug, making him tense with surprise but he quickly relaxed. "I don't know what I would have done without you, David."**  
><strong>

"Mr. Knight, you don't-"**  
><strong>

"No, I do." I pulled back and holding him at his shoulders. "You've helped me so much and not just when it comes to working here, but my personal life too. I know I wasn't always the easiest boss to get along with and no matter how much I tried to deny it at the beginning, you are one of my best friends and I'm so glad I've gotten to know you all these years."**  
><strong>

I saw tears gathering in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall. "It's only my birthday." He chuckled. "You make it sound like you're leaving." I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth, not sure how to respond. "Oh my god! You're leaving? Is that what all of this is?"**  
><strong>

"No. No, I'm not leaving." I pulled an envelope out of my back pocket, handing it off to him.**  
><strong>

He opened the envelope, eying its contents carefully. "It's...my check." I smirked when his eyes eyes went wide. "Mr. Knight, this is way more than you usually give me."**  
><strong>

"Because that's your regular salary, a birthday bonus, and...a final bonus."**  
><strong>

"Final...as in..you're firing me?" He looked up at me with hurt eyes.**  
><strong>

"No, no, no..." I once again took hold of his shoulders, squeezing them comfortingly. "I'm not firing you. I'm giving you an opportunity." At his confused look, I continued. "David, you've helped me so much and I don't know where my life would be if it weren't for your cocky attitude and your smart mouth." I smiled when he let out a little laugh. "I just want to help you the same way."**  
><strong>

The young man shook his head with a soft smile. "I don't know what to say."**  
><strong>

"Don't say anything because I'm not finished." David's brow rose quizzically and I let out a chuckle. "I've talk to Gustavo recently, and he told me that he's looking for his next superstar." I watched his eyes widen again. "I told him all about how great you were-and trust me, you're amazing." I added when I saw he was about to deny it. "Now, I don't know how you feel about a singer career, but Gustavo says he's willing to hear you and if you're up for it-"**  
><strong>

I let out a huff when David was suddenly latched onto me, repeatedly thanking me and saying other things that I couldn't totally make out from the way his voice was muffled in my chest. "I take it you're excited." I was able to say after my breath returned.**  
><strong>

"This is...oh my...no one has ever done anything like this for me."**  
><strong>

"I know you'll be great, David." I leaned down, kissing the top of his head. "I just wish I could be there to see you go up against Gustavo."

…

"How did it go?" Logan asked excitedly when he saw me come in after work.**  
><strong>

"He was really excited." I grinned.**  
><strong>

"I bet that made his whole day."**  
><strong>

"Yeah," I fell onto the couch next to the brunet. "I couldn't even make him work today. He was so happy."**  
><strong>

Logan smiled, curling into my side. "You're a good friend. Do you know that?"**  
><strong>

I shrugged modestly. "I try." We sat for a few moments just watching the TV in silence before I let out a sigh. "I'm gonna have to find a new assistant."**  
><strong>

The brunet glanced at me after a few beats of silence. "Why?"**  
><strong>

"Because David won't be able to work for me once Gustavo hears him sing. He's so incredible, and that's only when he's working. I'm not even sure he realizes he does it, but...I can't wait to see him make it big."**  
><strong>

Logan chuckled at me. "You have such faith in him. But I was talking about why get a new assistant?" He shifted to look at me seriously. "I mean, you gave David an opportunity to make his dream come true. Why don't you do the same for yourself?"**  
><strong>

I was so surprised by the suggestion that I wasn't sure how to respond. Eventually, I just ended up laughing. "Logie...I'm in no shape to play hockey."**  
><strong>

"Liar." Logan laughed. "I know you still go to the rink to clear your head, and you take Kyle and Kayla skating all the time. So, I know you still have the skill." He then gave a smirk, eyes roaming briefly. "And trust me, you're in perfect shape."**  
><strong>

I sighed, sinking lower into the couch cushions. "I still think it's too late. They're not going to show interest in me now. I've gotten too...old."**  
><strong>

"You're not _that _old." The genius rolled his eyes. "And what happened to not waiting around for your dreams to happen. You have to _make _them happen." He poked my chest for emphasis.**  
><strong>

I let out a small chuckle, looking up at him appreciatively. "You really think I could do it?"**  
><strong>

"I know you can." Logan leaned in, capturing my lips in a kiss which I lovingly returned.**  
><strong>

I pulled back briefly, smirking up at my fiance. "So, think I'm in _perfect _shape?"**  
><strong>

Logan rolled his eyes, giving another peck. "Don't let it go to your head."


	15. Chapter 15

I woke up with a groan as I stretched my sore muscles that were a result of the intense hockey practices I had been doing to get myself back in shape for the tryouts for the LA Kings. Gustavo gave me the hook up for the coach to come see me practice at the rink one day. He said he was very impressed and wanted to see what I could do up against some of the team. I had gone to the rink ever day to prepare since then. It had been so long since I played against someone who wasn't barely four feet tall and under fifty pounds. I had to be ready.

Logan even joined me a few times on his days off, but that ended with me slamming Logan against the boards and...well...not much practicing would get done after that. So, that wasn't that helpful either.

Logan had finally demanded that I take a break before I hurt myself and didn't make it to the tryouts. Instead of practicing every day, I practiced two or three times a week. But some days, like the day before, I would push myself harder than usual and end up with a sore body. "I told you to cool it with those practices." A voice came from beside me when I let out another pained groan.

I looked up at the brunet, sitting up in bed with his back against the headboard. "I have to train."

"Just don't hurt yourself."

I sat up a little further, smirking at the shorter man. "But you give me massages when I'm hurt."

"I don't think it's the massages you like. It's what you get me to do after." Logan rolled his eyes.

"Logie," I chuckled, wrapping my arm around his bare waist and kissing any skin I could reach without having to sit up fully. "you wouldn't do it if you didn't like it." I mumbled into his torso. I glanced up at his face to see it reddening causing me to let out another laugh. "What are you doing up, anyway?" Logan shrugged, playing with his fingers. I smirked again. "Are you staring at the ring again?"

The genius' head dipped and his face grew redder. "Maybe..."

I pressed another kiss to his stomach. "You're so adorable." I nuzzled his side with my nose.

Logan giggled, trying to push me away which made me hold onto him tighter. "Kendall!" He whined when I managed to push him onto his back and climbed on top of him. I ignored the half-hearted glare he was giving me, going back to enjoying the pale man's smooth skin, leaving a trail down his stomach, only to be stopped once I reached his hips. "We don't have time for that." He said, cupping my face in his hand when I pouted. "Jo will be bringing the kids home any minute." He pulled me up and placed a kiss on my lips. "And I was thinking that we never told them that we're getting married."

I raised my brow in thought. "That is true." I leaned in for another kiss. "How do you think they'll take it?"

"I can only hope that it'll go well." He shrugged.

I felt him smile when I captured his lips in another kiss. "I wouldn't worry too much." I mumbled, beginning another trail of kisses down his neck.

I smirked as he let out a few soft moans when our bare lengths rubbed together. "Kendall..." He whined, involuntarily bucking up into me and making me groan. I let out a sigh when someone began knocking at the front door. Logan chuckled beneath me. "I told you." He pecked my lips before gently pushing me off on him. I reluctantly allowed it, climbing out of bed to dress myself—albeit a bit slowly because I was still sore.

I joined Logan in the living room a few minutes later where he was greeting Kyle and Kayla. The two were jumping up and down excitedly, wanting to tell him all about their weekend with Jo. "Hey, guys." I made my presence known. Kayla ran towards me, and I pulled her into my arms. Kyle was next, gripping my leg.

"Be careful, guys. Don't hurt daddy." Logan warned.

I chuckled, trying to move to the couch but it was more difficult with two children hanging off of me. It was then I noticed that Jo was still standing at the door, shooting a glare at Logan for his comment. "Hey, Jo." I gave a small smile. "When will you be back?"

The blond gave a small shrug. "Next weekend?"

"Sounds good." I nodded to her.

"Bye babies." Jo grinned, giving a small wave to the two children still attached to me.

"Bye mommy." They ran over giving her a final hug before she finally left.

Logan let out a breath as he shut the door behind her. "Okay, guys. Go put your stuff away, and then you can tell us all about your visit."

They both let out noises of protest but immediately stopped when Logan gave them a look. They ran off down the hall without another word then. "Wow," I chuckled, walking over to Logan and wrapping my arms around him. "you've gotten good at this parenting thing."

"You think?" Logan grinned up at me.

"Yep." I pecked his lips, wanting to take it further but the short man gently pushed me away when Kyle and Kayla came running back in.

"Logan, Logan, look. Mommy got me a necklace." Kayla held up the plastic jewelry to show Logan.

"That's great, honey." Logan grinned lifting the little blonde girl into his arms.

"You look beautiful, baby." I kissed her forehead and turned to Kyle. "And what did you get?"

"I got a new book—" He grinned. "Harry Potter."

"Ooh, I love that series." Logan reached down, ruffling his hair. "So, you guys had fun?"

They both nodded happily while Logan lead them into the kitchen. "I'm glad you guys are in such a good mood because Logan and I have something we want to tell you." I followed the group into the kitchen, Logan shooting me a look of slight panic as he placed Kayla into a chair. I reached over, grabbing his hand, and squeezing it for reassurance. "Logan and I decided that...we want to get married." I watched Kyle and Kayla's blank expressions trying to get a gauge on what they were thinking.

When they didn't say anything for a long time, Logan spoke up. "How do you guys feel about that?"

They were quiet for another moment. "So..." Kyle shifted to look at Logan with curiosity. "would you be our new mom?"

The brunet's jaw fell and I couldn't help but laugh. Logan glared at me, jabbing his elbow in my side to get me to stop. When I finally managed to calm down, I slid into a chair beside Kyle. "No, Logan wouldn't be your mom, but he would be like a parent to you guys." I explained, glancing at Logan who nodded.

Kyle nodded as well, seeming to be okay with it. I then looked to the silent girl across from me. "Kayla?" I furrowed my brow, not sure what to take from my usually chatty daughter being unusually quiet.

She didn't lift her eyes from the table and Logan slid into the seat beside her. "Honey, are you okay with that?"

Kayla finally looked up, sending a glare the brunet's way. "No." She said firmly.

My eyes widened in surprise and I felt my chest ache from the hurt the washed over Logan's features. "Kayla, why don't you want me to marry Logan?" I questioned gently.

"Because he's not mommy." She glared at me then. "Why can't you marry mommy?"

"Kayla, we've talked about this..." I sighed. "Things are better this way."

"I wanna move back with mommy and be a family." Kayla whined, tears gathering in her eyes.

"We can be a family here with Logan."

"No, I want mommy!" Kayla jumped from her chair, running out of the kitchen and down the hall to her room.

I moved to follow her but before I could Kyle was up and running after her. I sighed sadly, deciding to give her a few minutes to cool down. I looked to Logan, seeing his eyes downcast to the table. "Are you okay?" I reached over, squeezing his hand.

He didn't answer, only shaking his head and sniffling a bit. I immediately pulled him into my arms, gently shushing him as he let the tears fall.

It didn't take Logan long to calm down. Brushing the remaining tears away, he said, "I'll be okay, and I can't be mad at Kayla wanting her mom." Even though he was able to give me a small smile and a kiss on the cheek, I could tell he was still hurt by Kayla's words.

While Logan was in the shower, I went into Kayla's room to find her and Kyle on the floor playing with her dolls. "Kyle, can I talk to your sister alone, please?"

The boy nodded, pulling Kayla into a hug before leaving. I turned back to my daughter, letting out a breath as I sat on the floor beside her. She didn't lift her head to look at me, deciding that her doll was more interesting. "Kayla," I said gently. She gave a small glance at me from the corner of her eye. "you're not in trouble, sweetheart." She finally looked at me fully, giving that adorable smile. "But you have to know that what you said really hurt Logan's feelings."

Kayla's smile fell into a pout, eyes turning back to her doll. "So?"

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "So...I raised you better than that." The blonde girl 'humph'd, standing up, and stomping to her bed. "Kayla Grace!" I stood, following her. When she didn't turn around, I grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to face me. "You know better than to disrespect me or Logan."

"I don't care!" She stomped her foot angrily then turned to crawl into her bed.

I paused, taking a deep breath. The last thing I wanted was to start yelling at Kayla for this. She was just upset about Jo, and I couldn't punish her for that. Despite how I feel about Jo, she's the mother of my children and she's a great mother at that. When I finally felt myself relax enough, I sat on the bed next to the small pouting girl. "Honey, what would be so bad about me marrying Logan?"

She looked up at me with sad eyes. "He's not my mommy."

I could feel my heart breaking as I pulled her into my lap, kissing the top of her head. "I know, baby, but Logan isn't trying to replace mommy. He just wants to be a part of our family." I explained gently.

Kayla didn't say anything for a while, but when she did I felt my heart break further. "He can't." She said. "He can't be in our family." She pushed me away, wiggling out of my hold to lay on her bed.

I pulled on my bottom lip and tried to swallow the lump I could feel growing in my throat. "Kayla...it really hurts me when you say that." I rubbed he back soothingly. "I know it hurt Logan too, and he's your friend. You don't want to hurt a friend, do you?" I waited for her to say something but she only continued to lay there. "Are you going to apologize for hurting his feelings?"

"...No."

What I felt then went beyond disappointment. This wasn't the way I raised Kayla to behave. She was my angel who could never do anything wrong, but I was obviously wrong. "That's fine, but until you apologize," I flipped her onto her back in order to look in her eyes and show her that I was serious. "you're grounded."

Her green eyes widened. "You said I wasn't in trouble."

"I'm not punishing you for how you feel. You're being punished because you're being disrespectful." Her eyes narrowed, arms crossing over her chest. "You can stay here and be mad about it or you can go across the hall and apologize. Your choice." She poked out her pink lip in a pout which had little effect on me. My expression didn't change and Kayla could see that I wasn't going to back down. She hmph'd once more, turning on her side to ignore me. I sighed, rising to my feet. "I'm very disappointed in you, Kayla."

…

Kayla spent the whole weekend grounded, absolutely refusing to budge on apologizing to Logan. She would pout and glare at me every time I would remind her that she couldn't watch television or when I would take away her toys, but she never apologized. Logan continued to act normally, not letting anything effect him and I could help but love him more for that.

Tuesday morning came and I was awakened by my alarm, reaching over to slap the snooze before snuggling back into Logan. The brunet shifted, lightly pushing my chest. "Get up." He mumbled.

"Why?"

"Because you wanted to practice today."

"I'd rather cuddle with you." I smirked sleepily, wrapping my arms tighter around my fiance.

He laughed, smile tickling the skin of my neck. "You're such a dork." He leaned into our embrace, pressing his lips to my neck. I let out a small moan, craning my neck to encourage his to continue. The short man giggled, pressing more kisses into my neck. I began to shift, trying to get Logan to roll onto his back so that we could continue, but there were once again hand pressing into my chest. "Mm, no time." He mumbled.

"We have time." I argued, finally getting him onto his back, forcing a surprised peep out of Logan before I attacked his lips with my own.

Just when he seemed to be giving in, he suddenly tensed, pulling away. "Did you hear that?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure it was nothing." I moved to kiss him but he pushed me away again.

"I'm serious, Kendall. Listen." With a sigh, I stopped listening for any sounds. Behind the cracked door there was the muffled sound of someone letting out pained whimpering. "It sounds like Kayla." I nodded in agreement, moving to pull on a pair of sweats and a shirt. Logan was dressed and out of the room before I even had the material over my head.

I followed his path to Kayla's room, finding Logan at Kayla's side, running a soothing hand through her hair. "It's alright, sweetie." He whispered. "Where does it hurt?" She only whined in response.

I joined the brunet at Kayla's side, feeling her forehead and cheeks that were covered with a thin layer of sweat. "She's a little warm."

Logan sighed, gently rubbing her side. "She probably has that stomach bug that's been going around the school." He leaned forward, gathering the child in his arms, and turned to me. "Will you go make some soup or something?"

I nodded, moving to the kitchen, peeking into Kyle's room to make sure he was okay on the way. While heating the chicken broth over the stove I could hear gagging coming from the bathroom, a frown forming on my face at the sound. Logan entered the kitchen a few minutes later, wearing the same worried frown. "Well, she's definitely sick." I sighed.

Logan nodded. "I'll have to stay home today and take care of her."

"Logie, you don't have to do that." I turned to him. "I'll stay home. I'm still a little sore anyway. I could use the rest."

"I can't go to work knowing she's so sick." Logan complained.

"Look, you do enough around here _and _you work. Go, and don't worry about it." From the worry lines on his forehead, I could tell he would worry anyway. The rest of the morning went on almost as usual—Logan and Kyle got ready to leave for the day, but Kayla and I didn't join them. I had trouble getting Logan out of the door, he instead wanted to check on Kayla over and over and then tried to lecture me about how to take care of her.

"...and keep her quarantine to her room as much as you can. We can't have her spreading germs all over the place. Wash your hands and disinfect the bathroom after she uses it..."

"Logan, we'll be fine." I began pushing him out of the door.

"Wait, let me just check on her one more time..." He turned trying to push passed me.

"Go to work, Logie." I laughed, finally getting him to the door, and pecking his lips. "I'll see you later."

Logan pouted but finally gave in, leaving me to take care of Kayla.

It was around one in the afternoon that the front door opened again and Logan walked through it with a grocery bag. "I though I told you to let me handle it." I rolled my eyes, taking the bag from him.

The brunet shrugged. "I went on lunch break and thought I would bring you guys lunch." He smiled innocently when my brow quirked in slight disappointment.

"You didn't have to do that." I started going through the bag, finding more broth, various medicines, and a sandwich that I assumed was for me.

"I wanted to do it." The genius insisted then his eyes widened in concern. "Why? Is she not keeping anything down?"

"Logan!" I grabbed him, giving a small chuckle from his over protective parent behavior. "She's fine and she's asleep." I grabbed his shoulders, trying to relieve the tension.

Logan let out a sigh. "I can't go back to work, Kendall. I'm too worried."

I smiled softly, leaning forward to press a loving kiss to his forehead. "I know, but she's a kid. Kids get sick. She'll be fine."

"But-"

"Logan?"

We both turned to the small voice coming from the entryway. Logan pulled out of my grasp, rushing to the little girl's side. "I'm here, sweetheart." He brushed her bangs out of her face. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I had to pee."

Logan and I chuckled at the blonde. "Come on, let's get you back to bed." Logan said, once again pulling her into his arms and carrying her down the hall.

I finished putting the food away before following him. I stopped at the door, listening when I heard talking. "Logan?" Kayla's voice came.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I peeked into the room, seeing Logan tucking the small child into her bed.

Logan's brow furrowed. "Why wouldn't I be? I love you, and you're nice to people you love." He finished tucking her in, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her head.

Kayla reached up, wrapping her arms around Logan. She sat up slightly, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry I was mean to you, Logan."

I smiled to myself, watching Logan wrap his arms around her, returning the hug. "It's okay." He said. "Because when you love someone you forgive them too."

Kayla nodded into his shoulder. "I'm glad you're marrying daddy."

Logan looked up at me when he heard the door open as I stepped through it. I could see the tears gathering in his eyes when he smiled, making me smile back. "I am too."


	16. Chapter 16

"Please explain to me why I'm doing this?" David mumbled, putting the last of the invitations we had spent hours preparing into envelopes and then handing them off to me who peeled off mailing labels and stuck them on.

I chuckled at the annoyed tone he had come to miss over the last few months without it. "You're helping me because you're better at this stuff than I am." I explained.

"Yes, I understand that when it comes to organization you suck," David said, making me laugh again. "but why do I keep agreeing to help you especially when I could be at home enjoying one of the rare days off that Gustavo gives me?"

I thought about it for a moment because it was a very interesting question, but I just shrugged, giving him a charming smile. "Because you love me?"

I watched David stop, looking back at me with this odd expression before shaking his head and going to work again. I gave a small laugh before moving back to my own task. "Okay, we're done." The young man announced, placing the last finished envelope in the box. "Now all you have to do is take them to the post office and mail them off." I gave David a small pout which he rolled his eyes at. "Lazy." He muttered, grabbing the box and heading toward the door.

"Wait." I stood up, opening the door for him. "Thanks for all of your help today. It took way less time with you here." I squeezed his forearm gratefully.

David nodded. "Glad to help." He smiled.

"And to lessen your workload, I'll hand-deliver a couple of these." I said, pulling out a few.

I grinned at him as I handed him one. He eyes went wide in surprise. "Wow, Kendall." He took the invitation with a smile. "Thanks..."

"Did you think I wouldn't invite you?"

"No, no, it's just...nothing..." He pocketed the item. "Thanks."

"No problem." I shrugged. "You know, if it weren't for you, I don't think Logan and I would be together."

"Kendall..."

"No, really. You offered encouraging words the whole time I was trying to push him away. It's like you know me better than I know myself." I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. "That's why I want you to be my best man."

David's eyes were wide again. "Wow." He repeated himself and I found myself laughing again.

"Can you say something other than wow?"

He bit his lip, drumming his fingers on the box in his hands. "I, uh..." He paused, and I looked to him in confusion. "I'll think about it." He said, giving one last smile before he walked out of the door. "Hi, Logan."

Logan gave a smile to David who kept moving down the hall, right passed him. I was confused by this and when the brunet turned around, I saw that he was confused as well. "What did you do to David?" He asked.

"I didn't do anything." I shut the door behind my fiance once he was inside. "He's been acting oddly all day."

"All day?" Logan glanced at me as he sat on the couch, allowing his body to relax after a long day at work. I smiled at the cute little moan of content he let out before joining him. "What did you two do all day?"

I shrugged. "We talked and worked on the invitations. We got them all done ahead of schedule and now David is off to mail them."

"So..." Logan faced me slowly with a scary smile. It was happy—almost too happy for the undertone—and then again it didn't look genuinely happy. Which is what made it scary. "You just did all the invitations with David and you're going to mail them out before I even get to see them?"

My eyes shifted nervously. "Is that not okay?"

The brunet let out a long sigh, body visibly slumping into the couch with a small pout. "No, it's fine." He muttered, picking at a loose string on the cushion. "I'm sure they were pretty."

I chuckled. "There's a few extra on the table." I barely had the sentence out before Logan was jumping off of the couch, suddenly getting a second wind, and sped off to the kitchen to grab one.

I decided to stay seated seeing as Logan was rushing back to me just a few seconds later, invitation in hand. "He asked and he said yes...or was it the other way around?" Logan laughed at that and I smiled at the bright look on his face. "However it happened Kendall Donald Knight and Hortense Logan Mitchell are getting married, and they ask you to join them on Friday, the seventh of November at four o'clock in the afternoon." He smiled at me when he finished, leaning over and kissing me sweetly. I smiled into the kiss, wondering if Logan could feel the same warm, blissful feeling in his heart.

…

"Daddy, hurry! I wanna put on my flower girl dress!" Kayla tugged at my pants impatiently as I stopped short at our mailbox on our trip to the apartment.

"Hold on a second." I chuckled at the little girl as I flipped through the mail. My brows furrowed at the sight of a few RSVPs in the mail already. I shook my head, wondering if I could get David and Logan to team up for this one. I finally allowed Kayla to drag me up the stairs to our apartment. I teased her for a while, pretending that I couldn't find my key and then 'struggling' to open the door.

Once we were inside, Kayla rushed to her room to change and I started opening the few RSVPs we had. James, Carlos, our moms, and Katie of course checked that they would be there. In Carlos' where he should have checked fish or chicken, he wrote in his own box and checked corndogs. Shaking my head, I opened the last one from David. Where I was expecting another check for yes, I shockingly saw that he checked no.

"What?" I muttered aloud, eyes squinting at the paper in hopes that I was seeing it wrong, but there it was. No.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Kayla came running in wearing her pink flower girl dress and the crown thing made of flowers. "Aren't I pretty?" She grinned at me, looking ten times more adorable since she lost he first tooth—which made Kyle jealous because he hadn't even lost one yet.

I set the invitation down, trying to push my mixed emotions away for the time being and focus on other things. I gave my daughter a genuine smile because I couldn't ignore how adorable she looked in the dress. "You look beautiful sweetheart." I lifted her into my lap and adjusted her crown of flowers. "You'll be the prettiest one there."

The blonde giggled with delight. "Prettier than James?" She questioned.

I laughed loudly, because even a four year old could see how much effort James put into his appearance. "Way prettier than James." I hugged her close and kissing her head. "Now go take that off and put it away so you don't ruin it."

She nodded, climbing off my lap and running back to her room. I let out a sad sigh, once again looking at the returned invitation in front of me.

"We're home." Logan announced as he walked in the door a few hours later with Kyle falling asleep in his arms. Kayla was asleep on the couch and I was pacing the living room with my phone in my hand. "What's up?" The brunet questioned with a raised brow, struggling to hold Kyle and their tuxes in his arms.

I sighed, glancing at the two sleepy children. "I'll tell you in a second. Let's get them in bed." Logan nodded and I scooped Kayla into my arms.

It didn't take long to get them to bed. In fact, they weren't even fully awake as we changed them into their pajamas. After we showered and changed for bed, Logan cuddled up to me and I could feel my body relaxing just from having him in my arms. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong now?"

I let out a heavy sigh, mind going back to the earlier events. "David says he isn't going to the wedding."

"Oh, no." Logan raised his head to look at me, brown eyes filled with concern. "No wonder you're upset. I know that was really important to you—him being there."

"Not as important as it is that _you _be there, but yeah." Logan chuckled, leaning in for a soft kiss. I pulled back with a sigh. "But he's one of my best friends. I just don't get why he would say no."

The brunet paused, pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth. "I'm sure he has his reasons." He finally said.

"Well, I hope it's a good one." I huffed. "You know, he wouldn't even answer his phone today. I think he's screening my calls."

I glared at the shorter man as he laughed. "I think you're being paranoid." He said as he rolled away from me.

"I'm serious, Logan!"

"Don't dwell on it, Kendall." Logan yawned. "Leave well enough alone."

I huffed again, finding it useless to argue with Logan because he wouldn't change his mind.

But neither would I.

…

I was smiling to myself as I strolled into Rocque Records for the first time in ages. The building still looked the same and everything, but it made me feel old. I knew if Logan were around he would have told me that I wasn't old, but when I passed our poster that still hung on the wall, I couldn't help but feel like an old geezer.

I stood to look at the poster for a while longer. It reminded me of all the good times we had in the band and all the trouble we got in. I felt a smile come to my face as I remembered the time James and Carlos TP'd Gustavo's office as payback for him making them stay late to clean the dance studio from when they egged it.

I also remembered all the times Logan and I would sneak away during our breaks and find an empty office to make out in. Then I remembered the first day Logan didn't show up to rehearsal and how furious Gustavo was. At the time, I didn't know what was happening with Logan. He was my Logie. I didn't think he would ever do something like that to himself so the though never crossed my mind. I actually thought that he was at the library and lost track of the time—that is where he said he was going before rehearsal and that he would meet us there.

Rehearsal came and went without Logan showing up once.

My mind continued to retell the story in my head—the denial that anything was wrong, finding out what he was up to...waking up to find him gone.

I was surprised to find that the memory didn't hurt as much as it once did. The picture of waking up without Logan beside me was quickly taken over by the memory of the brunet's peacefully sleeping face that I woke up to just that morning as well as the other mornings before that and the mornings to come.

There was a time when I thought that I would never even see Logan again and the very thought of him brought an ache to my chest. Now we were living together, engaged, and raising two children. It was my fantasy come true. If it weren't for David to lovingly smack some sense into me, who knows where we would be? That's why it didn't make any sense. Why didn't he want to come to my wedding? I thought we were friends—close friends, _best _friends even—but he didn't seem to get that.

"Kendall?" I turned around to see a surprised David.

"Hey." I grinned at him.

"Uh...hi." He answered awkwardly.

"You haven't been answering my phone calls." I said, though giving him a light smile and shrug. "I figured I'd stop by and see what's up. So...what's up?"

David shrugged as well. "Nothing." He looked around awkwardly, and I could tell that he wanted to look anywhere but at me. "What's up with you?"

"I got some RSVPs back." I responded in a casual tone. "Almost everyone said yes..."

"Kendall..." David sighed. "You have to know that I have my reasons for saying no."

"I know that!" I finally let my confusion and annoyance show as my arms lifted and fell back at my sides. "I just don't get it why. I thought we were friends."

"We are!" He insisted.

I sighed, eyebrows coming together. "Can I at least get an explanation?"

The young man paused, biting his lip. "I have to work." He finally said.

My eyes narrowed. "You...have to work?"

"Yeah."

"Because Kelly called this morning to let me know that she and Gustavo would be attending the wedding." From the look on his face I could tell that David was speechless. "Damn it, David. Just tell me what's going on!"

"Would you just trust me when I say that I can't go?" David yelled right back.

"If you don't want to go, then just say so."

"I don't want to go!"

My eyes narrowed further as he stomped passed me toward the exit. I followed him the whole way. "Why?" I demanded. David huffed loudly, but I didn't care. "Why don't you want to go?"

"I just don't want to." He arrived at his car, pulling out his keys which I snatched away from him. "Hey!"

"Tell me." I demanded once again and he just rolled his eyes. "David, don't you know how much you mean to me? I would have gone crazy for all those years at that job if it weren't for you. I would probably still be with Jo and miserable if you hadn't been there."

"No, I didn't change your life Kendall. Logan did. It's always been Logan. You quit your job because of Logan. You're living your dream because of Logan. You're happy because of _Logan._" This time I was turned speechless from the bitterness and anger in the shorter man's tone, and the tears suddenly gathering in his eyes. David took the opportunity to take his keys back from me. "That's why I don't want to go to your wedding. I'm happy for you, Kendall, but I can't watch that."

I stood wordlessly as he climbed into his car and started it. Before he cold drive away, I finally said something. "David," He stopped himself from driving away and I breathed a sigh of relief. I walked up to the window, receiving a sideways glance but he still wouldn't look me directly in the eye. "This doesn't change anything. I still want you there...if you decide to be there, okay?" I asked slowly.

"I'll think about it." Was his only response, then the window only rolled up and then he was gone.

…

"You've been really quiet all day." Logan pointed out as we crawled into bed that night. "What's going through your head?"

I sighed, pulling the blankets around me and unable to fight the smile that instinctively came to my lips as the brunet took his place in my arms. "I talked to David today."

"You what?" Then Logan was sitting up, looking as if I just did the most scandalous thing in LA. "Kendall, I told you to leave it alone."

"I couldn't help it. I had to know why he said no. You know how much I want him there."

"There are a lot of people I want at the wedding too, but I'm not going to hunt down every person that says no." He sighed in frustration. "I told you he had his reasons. He doesn't have to explain-"

"Did you know that David was in love with me?" I interrupted him with narrowed eyes. Logan's eyes went wide just as David's did. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I never knew for sure, Kendall, and that's not my place." Logan shook his head. "Is that what's been on your mind all day?" He asked quietly.

"It is that kind of thing that you think about." When Logan grew quiet, I tilted my head down to look at him with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered in a tone that I could immediately tell that he was not fine and I knew why.

I suddenly rolled us over so that Logan was on his back and I was on top of him, the sudden shift of positions forcing a peep of surprise out of my lover. I smirked, pressing my lips to his, trying to convey all the love I felt for him in the one action, but I knew one kiss would never be enough. I pulled back, resting our foreheads together. "I love you...you know that, right?"

Logan smiled, arms encircling my neck. "Yeah."

"Nothing and no one is going to change my mind that you're the only person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, that I want to raise my kids with. Okay?"

The smile widened. "I know. I love you too." He pulled my lips down to meet his and I gladly obliged, loving the feel of his smile against my lips. "And I'm sorry about David." He whispered as he pulled back.

"It's okay." I sighed, resting our heads together once more. "I understand it, I guess. I just wish he would change his mind."

"Maybe he will..."

"Maybe."

My eyes widened when our positions were suddenly flipped once again and Logan ended up on top of me, straddling my waist. "But even if he doesn't show..."

I smiled up at him. "I'll still be the happiest guy on Earth."

"No, I believe that would be me." The brunet smirked. "For someone like you to love someone like me...it's unreal, Kendall." He leaned forward, pressing our lips together. This time I was smiling as he pulled back. "It's like a dream come true."

"My thoughts exactly." I brought him back into a slow kiss, and Logan sighed happily.

We laid there together, kiss gradually becoming more heated until Logan pulled back. "We should go to bed or we'll wake the kids."

"But Logie, I want more." I whined, rubbing my arousal against the shorter man's backside, making him moan softly.

"Mm, no more." He pressed his palms against my chest. "I think you have an addiction."

"And I hope I never recover."


End file.
